Breaking up in the bank and heartbreak hotel in China

Mapula Nkosi That's Life

How does somebody break up with you in a bank, bathong, asked a friend of mine recently when she told me of the latest instalment of an episode in her heartbreak hotel.

I must say I admire her lust for life and her strong belief that one should rather be unlucky in love than be alone. My friend is one of those types who fall in love with the idea of being in love but, from her half-full glass perspective, says she is not afraid to expose herself out there in her quest to find the one.

Unfortunately for her, she also meets a lot of con artists and fly-by-nights in the dating game.

Her latest disaster, John, dumped her in a bank queue in full view of other customers. I always thought John was a tad unstable, but my friend preferred to describe him as eccentric to explain his various curious actions. The two were having a heated lovers' argument as they waited for John to make a transaction at the local bank when he turned around and coldly told her; "I'm really not sure I want you in my life anymore so I suggest we break up right now."

So infantile was his action that for a couple of minutes my friend says she was stunned into silence at the callous manner he suggested a break-up. The worst part was the two of them having to drive back home in the same car in total silence filled with tension. This is not the worst break-up story I have heard and my friends and I agree that if he is man enough to start it, any man owes you an explanation in a private space when they decide to call it quits.

It is even beyond cruel for a man to break up with you in a foreign city. I know several stories of men who have invited their girlfriends to their home towns only for them to break up when the woman found out he also had a local girl in the picture.

It was much worse for a friend of mine who was invited to China by a guy she was planning to marry. He had gone there for a year on a lucrative expat package and we were all in awe of their developing love story that seemed to defy the challenges of distance. That is, until he sent her a ticket to visit him for the holiday of a lifetime in China we were all envious of.

Unbeknown to my friend, he had already shacked up with a local Chinese girl. The boil was burst when the Chinese girl knocked madly on their door one night. Apparently the scumbag had invited my friend at the time his pregnant Chinese girl was going to her home town for the holidays. Her spies obviously told her the cheat was playing house with his African visitor which made the Chinese girl cut her trip short to confront him with her family.

At least my friend did not get any karate chops from the girl and her relatives, but it took years for her to get over being dumped in a foreign city where she did not know anyone.

Faced with a delegation of uncles, who I suspect included angry karateka, after opening the door to face the music, the man broke it off with my friend and told her he was unfortunately planning to marry the Chinese girl. My friend had to be dispatched to a hotel for the night as her flight back home was the next day.

I think it would have been more decent if he had even broken up with her via WhatsApp.