The Short Report
We now know Ramaphosa’s style‚ the substance we’ll start seeing soon enough
It’s too early to judge Cyril Ramaphosa’s intentions or actions‚ but after the last few days‚ there is no doubting his style.
Unleashing the hounds on your political enemies and their stooges is one thing‚ but doing it while you’re seducing the world in front of a long fire in a Swiss ski resort? That’s the unholy‚ sexy‚ chilling lovechild of James Bond pitching woo and Michael Corleone rubbing out his rivals as he cradles a baby. It’s compelling viewing.
As Ramaphosa innocently sips his hot chocolate in Davos‚ Eskom henchpuppets are twitching this way and that under cross-examination.
As Cyril catches snowflakes on his tongue‚ Bathabile Dlamini is scowling and fudging‚ trying to convince an inquiry that she is merely completely incompetent rather than criminally incompetent.
And on Friday‚ as the Deputy President drew a heart in the condensation on his window‚ the Hawks carried out search and seizure raids on the office of Free State Premier Ace Magashule as well as the Free State’s Department of Agriculture.
The last one is particularly dramatic‚ but of course the revival of the Hawks is not only a political breakthrough. It’s a medical one‚ too. We still recall with sadness and shock the events of 2015‚ when Shaun Abrahams lost his entire spine in a tragic head-on collision with Jacob Zuma.
It seemed to be the end of a promising legal career‚ as Abrahams lay‚ a silent‚ gelatinous invertebrate mass‚ on the floor of his office for the next three years. Friday morning‚ however‚ suggested that he has just become the first successful recipient of a full spinal transplant.
I have checked with surgeons‚ who agree the most likely procedure was probably a rectal insertion of the spine‚ without anaesthetic‚ by Ramaphosa. So well done to all involved‚ and congrats to Shaun.
Ramaphosa‚ however‚ has greater challenges than clearing out the trash and colorectal spinectomies. This week he suggested that South Africa cannot afford a nuclear build - news that will have gone down in Moscow like a poison-resistant feminist journalist.
Indeed‚ the only thing that saved Nkandla from an immediate nuclear strike was the Red Army reviewing satellite photos of the compound‚ seeing the state of the buildings‚ and deciding that it had already been nuked.
Magashule and the Zuptas are formidable opponents. But next to an angry Vladimir Putin holding a handwritten IOU signed with Zuma’s thumbprint‚ they are a basket of puppies.
We know Ramaphosa’s style. The substance‚ well‚ we’ll start seeing that that soon enough.