Fate signed, sealed and delivered

It's full throttle to the start of the elective conference at Nasrec next week when a chosen 4000-odd of the Khongolose type will once again decide your fate and mine, dear reader.

It is a quinquennial ritual that sees the ruling elite of the governing party pretend they care for the hoi polloi in green, black and yellow of Madiba's party - not that the great man would recognise the once great movement were he to wake up now.

When clowns come marching in

Vera has had fun watching the circus as it rolls into town and plays itself out on newspaper pages and every other media space out there.

Idols in drag

On Monday we woke up to a screaming headline with The Ex, one of two front runners for Namba Wan's job, declaring that Khongolose will win the 2019 elections with her at the helm.

"I'm a cadre who has a vast experience in government and the country can say when I'm in government this is what I have done. South Africans will know that I am very decisive. I don't sing about things, I act."

Sucker punch

Now, that sounds like a stab at someone Vera knows, who shall remain nameless. This fella won a singing contest in Polokwane where he smoked everybody, including the unsuspecting Pipe-Sucking Intellectual, who thought they were electing a president.

He pulled off the trick again in Mangaung when that chap with a snow-white goatee and pitch-black Afro was lulled into a false sense of security, and South Africa is still to recover from the catastrophe that followed both those elections.

No song and dance

Vera shall take consolation from the fact that it comes from the madam herself that this is no singing and dancing contest. Thank heavens for that.

Oros, you have mail

Vera would like to declare loud and clear that the message above is not her handwriting.

It's marking season now and she hopes that this is not what awaits many out there. It's most likely the message that landed in some rotund guy's inbox and it will be a long wait still for a Dr Oros.

So in love...

Thank heavens once again for Dr Bae who always plants a smile on the nation's collective face and makes it all so great for us to feel South African. Vera will never fall out of love there...

And that will stay so despite some vainglorious radio show host who she suspects has more than just a bone to pick with newspapers, especially Sowetan.

We shall celebrate Bae whichever way we deem fit, and who is Mr Know It All to dictate to us? The morning show host has become so bigheaded that he thinks he can even use X-rated language, calling a rag the Sh***zen. Order. Respect the listener.