GULUVA read somewhere that the Pakistanis are in the process of changing the name of their iconic cricket stadium in Lahore.

The cricket-mad nation is almost unanimous in its determination to have the venue, known for many years as Muammar Gaddafi Stadium, renamed following the ignominious fall of the Libyan dictator, who for 42 years put his people under a lot of misery while he and his family lived in obscene opulence.

Many say it was about time that Imran Khan, one of the best cricketers Pakistan has ever produced, was appropriately honoured for the contribution he has made, not only to the sport but also to humanity at large, by renaming the stadium after him.

Guluva could not agree with them more. But while they are about it, perhaps they should also take the opportunity to consider changing the name of the capital itself.

It will also help Guluva a lot. You see, the last time Guluva politely asked his partner for permission to go and watch a cricket match between the Proteas and Pakistan in Lahore, she went berserk, barking: "What did you just say? Did you just call me a whore? Whore it's you!"

Dodgy balancing act

INKOSI Phathekile Holomisa, Guluva's second favourite chief after Umtwana kaPhindangene, told us in an article last week why he found himself "expressing the hope that President Jacob Zuma would choose (Justice Mogoeng) Mogoeng" as Mzansi's next chief justice.

He said Judge Mogoeng - who faced a tough grilling by the Judicial Service Commission - was "a man who could manage to balance the African ways with those imported from the West".

This is the judge who, in a 2007 judgment involving a rape case of a 14-year-girl, said: "One can safely assume that (the accused) must have been mindful of (the victim's) tender age and was thus so careful as not to injure her private parts, except accidentally, when he penetrated her.

"That would explain why the child was neither sad nor crying when she returned home from the shop ."

What a way of balancing "African ways with those imported from the West".

Juju outwitted

THE bosses in the revolutionary house have once again emphatically showed enfant terrible, the Woodwork Boy aka Juju, who is in charge of the revolution.

Juju Boy and his kindergarten crowd were out-thought, outwitted and outsmarted by Oom Gwede and other senior revolutionaries when the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's disciplinary committee on Friday decided to postpone his disciplinary hearing to September 11, citing the "unavailability of legal representatives" as the reason.

The new date, as the embattled Juju will soon realise, comes just a day before the kindergarten's planned economic freedom march to the Union Buildings, Chamber of Mines and the Johannesburg Stock Exchange.

With their "marcher-in-chief" and his lieutenants in the dock, the economic freedom march will most likely fizzle out, thwarting, among other things, a showdown between the Machine Gun Man and the kindergarten kiddies.

With Juju having already suffered two setbacks during the disciplinary hearing, the scoreboard in this match so far reads: Machine Gun Man 3, Juju 0.

E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com