AFTER Mzansi successfully hosted the Fifa World Cup last year, Guluva has suddenly become somewhat of a sport enthusiast - not just a soccer fanatic - who supports all the national teams during their international sojourns.

It's a good thing, Guluva reckons, since it contributes, albeit in a modest way, to social cohesion and nation building.

After out-of-sorts Graham Smith's Proteas team disappointed the entire nation when they choked dramatically during the Cricket World Cup on the sub-continent earlier this year, Guluva has naturally turned his attention to rugby as Amabhokobhoko prepare to defend their World Cup trophy in New Zealand in almost two months' time from now.

Rugby is not his kind of game, though. But as a patriotic Mzansian, he feels duty bound to support Amabhokobhoko through and through.

He has, as a result, started familiarising himself with the terms and rules of the sport.

He now knows everything there is to know about lineouts, conversions, penalties and scrums, though he still does not understand why a team is awarded a point or points when a player kicks the ball over the bar. In Guluva's book, that's a miss.

Why is a try, for instance, called a try when, in actual fact, it earns a team that scores it four points? Why are certain players called hookers and why are rugby teams sometimes referred to as the Barbarians?

Be that as it may, Guluva's favourite rugby team is the Cheetahs - as opposed to the Cheaters - though they have not won anything worth mentioning in their entire miserable history. His hero is Cheetahs' 22-year-old and 1,86m tall prop Coenie Oosthuizen.

Weighing 127kg, the heavily built Oosthuizen is a brilliant player whose mesmerising performances and magic on the field of play has deservedly earned him a place in the Amabhokobhoko squad.

But what Guluva did not know until now is that Oosthuizen is also called, believe it or not, a loosehead.

In a recent newspaper article Oosthuizen, who comes across as some sort of a troublemaker - maybe that's why they call him a loosehead - was reported as admitting ahead of Amabhokobhoko's Tri-Nations clash against the Wallabies next Saturday that this had not been the best of seasons for him.

The article quoted him as saying: "At the start of the season we conceded a lot of penalties. When something goes wrong the loosehead prop gets nailed. If a tighthead is heavy enough he can go to ground and the loosehead will get nailed.

"Admittedly there is a thin line and I'm not suggesting the refs got it wrong all the time. But generally speaking looseheads were penalised more than any other player on the field, even more than the flankers."

Do all looseheads sound and behave like loose cannons, as the actions and rantings of this loosehead seem to suggest?

Guluva does not, however, care whether there are dunderheads, looseheads, tightheads, bigheads, fairheads, airheads or loose cannons in the Amabhokobhoko squad that will face the world in New Zealand in September as long as they don't come back as a bunch of scrumbags at the end of the tournament.

E-mail Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com