THOUGH Ain't Seen Nothing Yet was given an overwhelming vote of confidence by the majority of South Africans in the recent local government elections, the organisation is beginning to show signs that it is losing touch with its largest constituency - poor African communities.
Perhaps it has something to do with age - it turns 100 next year, remember.
Guluva was driving around Lenasia the other day when he noticed in front of him a photograph of a smiling Machine Gun Man splashed across the rear of a Putco bus. Below the photograph was a belated election message, in IsiZulu, reading: "Sisoke singakha iimphakhathi egcono. Vhothela i-ANC."
Guluva is not a language purist or an expert in isiZulu - far from it - but what he knows is that King Goodwill Zwelithini would squirm in his ibheshu down in his palace if he were to hear his language being mutilated like that, turning it into a fanakalo of some sort. Shenge, the Prince of Phindangene, would also be horrified.
Even James Sofasonke Mpanza must be turning in his grave to know that some of this generation's leaders cannot even spell a simple word such as sonke.
Well, Guluva is not at all surprised at Ain't Seen Nothing Yet leaders' dodgy command of African languages. How many of them live in communities where these languages are fluently spoken?
Guluva can't even think of one. Oom Gwede, of all people, lives in a Boksburg suburb; Mr Fiks-It-All has a Northcliff address, while the Woodwork Boy, aka Juju, has made Sandton his playground.
If the language in an election message is broken, what guarantee do we as the electorate have that the election promises contained in it won't be broken?
Kiss the dog
DURING his tenure as American foreign secretary Henry Kissinger was known more for embracing dodgy characters than his ability to govern properly. In township parlance, such unsavoury characters are called dogs, or izinja in isiZulu.
One of the 82-year-old Kissinger's lapdogs was Jonas Savimbi, who shamelessly fought the bitter and protracted Angolan war on Uncle Sam's side. That was ages ago.
Sepp Blatter turned himself into a dog in Zurich last week when he created conditions in which he would be the only one left standing for the Fifa presidency.
After the elections, and feeling guilty as ever, Blatter invited Kissinger to Switzerland to help clean up the sordid governance mess that the world soccer controlling body had created under Blatter's nose.
Kissinger has not turned down the offer and is soon expected to make his way to Fifa House to meet this dog called Sepp Blatter.
No wonder many of people in Mzansi know Kissinger as "Kiss Inja" (Kiss the Dog).
Money is safe
Guluva has of late been seriously toying with the thought of parting with his hard-earned R180000 to rub shoulders with the Woodwork Boy, aka Juju, and his henchmen when the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's kindergarten holds its elective jamboree at Gallagher Estate next week. He could grab a tender or two, who knows.
But someone warned that a return on investment could not be guaranteed. What was guaranteed, though, was that there would be lots of flashing of bums, throwing of chairs and beer bottles, and exchanging of blows.
Guluva has a weak heart and can't stand all of that.
So his money is safe.
E-mail Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com.
Broken promises in fanakalo
THOUGH Ain't Seen Nothing Yet was given an overwhelming vote of confidence by the majority of South Africans in the recent local government elections, the organisation is beginning to show signs that it is losing touch with its largest constituency - poor African communities.
Perhaps it has something to do with age - it turns 100 next year, remember.
Guluva was driving around Lenasia the other day when he noticed in front of him a photograph of a smiling Machine Gun Man splashed across the rear of a Putco bus. Below the photograph was a belated election message, in IsiZulu, reading: "Sisoke singakha iimphakhathi egcono. Vhothela i-ANC."
Guluva is not a language purist or an expert in isiZulu - far from it - but what he knows is that King Goodwill Zwelithini would squirm in his ibheshu down in his palace if he were to hear his language being mutilated like that, turning it into a fanakalo of some sort. Shenge, the Prince of Phindangene, would also be horrified.
Even James Sofasonke Mpanza must be turning in his grave to know that some of this generation's leaders cannot even spell a simple word such as sonke.
Well, Guluva is not at all surprised at Ain't Seen Nothing Yet leaders' dodgy command of African languages. How many of them live in communities where these languages are fluently spoken?
Guluva can't even think of one. Oom Gwede, of all people, lives in a Boksburg suburb; Mr Fiks-It-All has a Northcliff address, while the Woodwork Boy, aka Juju, has made Sandton his playground.
If the language in an election message is broken, what guarantee do we as the electorate have that the election promises contained in it won't be broken?
Kiss the dog
DURING his tenure as American foreign secretary Henry Kissinger was known more for embracing dodgy characters than his ability to govern properly. In township parlance, such unsavoury characters are called dogs, or izinja in isiZulu.
One of the 82-year-old Kissinger's lapdogs was Jonas Savimbi, who shamelessly fought the bitter and protracted Angolan war on Uncle Sam's side. That was ages ago.
Sepp Blatter turned himself into a dog in Zurich last week when he created conditions in which he would be the only one left standing for the Fifa presidency.
After the elections, and feeling guilty as ever, Blatter invited Kissinger to Switzerland to help clean up the sordid governance mess that the world soccer controlling body had created under Blatter's nose.
Kissinger has not turned down the offer and is soon expected to make his way to Fifa House to meet this dog called Sepp Blatter.
No wonder many of people in Mzansi know Kissinger as "Kiss Inja" (Kiss the Dog).
Money is safe
Guluva has of late been seriously toying with the thought of parting with his hard-earned R180000 to rub shoulders with the Woodwork Boy, aka Juju, and his henchmen when the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's kindergarten holds its elective jamboree at Gallagher Estate next week. He could grab a tender or two, who knows.
But someone warned that a return on investment could not be guaranteed. What was guaranteed, though, was that there would be lots of flashing of bums, throwing of chairs and beer bottles, and exchanging of blows.
Guluva has a weak heart and can't stand all of that.
So his money is safe.
E-mail Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com.
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