Nobody is sure about Nobody

Mpho Tsedu
Mpho Tsedu

GULUVA has for many years been pounding the dusty streets and footpaths of Limpopo's Nobody village trying to establish why on earth would anybody want to name his or her village Nobody.

Nobody is a place where everybody knows everybody, almost to a man.

Guluva would like to admit, however, that up to now nobody has been able to satisfactorily unravel the mystery surrounding Nobody's origin.

All he could come up with were unsubstantiated stories, with some villagers claiming Nobody came about when somebody in the village called a meeting in which everybody present agreed on one or the other decision but nobody was prepared to take responsibility for it.

The other day someone whispered to Guluva that the name was inspired by the William Brothers' gospel hit I'm Just A Nobody. But this claim cannot possibly be true because Nobody is pretty old, while I'm Just A Nobody is fairly new.

Nevertheless, the song's lyrics - I'm just a nobody/trying to tell everybody/about somebody/who can save everybody - are said to inspire almost everybody in Nobody.

One story that seems to have an element of legitimacy, though, was told by somebody called Shuttleworth, who said the name had its origins back in the days when the apartheid government was implementing its forced removals policy that saw close-knit communities being mercilessly torn apart.

Some of the affected villagers had refused to go where government officials wanted them to go and decided to settle on a piece of land that apparently belonged to nobody. That's how nobody's land became Nobody.

Guluva also understands - but he stands to be corrected on this one - that Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe is originally from Nobody.

Now, that's somebody.

Out of tune kids

Someone who is not a nobody is former TV actor Mpho Tsedu, whose umbilical cord incidentally lies buried not very far from Nobody.

Tsedu is a rising star in Ain't Seen Nothing Yet. That's why he is somebody, and that's why he could organise talent search auditions for children belonging to Ain't Seen Nothing Yet at Maponya Mall, Soweto, the other day.

"Young people are singing to an ANC tune. They are not interested in anything else but Mandela."

So, does this mean that young people are not interested in the Machine Gun Man and his trade mark tune Umshini Wam', Juju and his favourite liberation song Dubul'ibhunu and Oom Gwede and everything he has to say?

Have they suddenly become, for lack of a better word, nobodies?

No wonder they have to use somebody like Chomee to attract young people to their rallies these days.

Whose God is He?

As you know, God is for us all, irrespective of our situation in life.

After being convicted of drug trafficking last week and sentenced to 12 years' imprisonment, Sheryl Cwele, wife of Intelligence Minister Siyabonga Cwele, was seen praying with her family members and supporters ahead of her appeal.

A short distance away, Marie Swanepoel, mother of Tessa Beetge, who is serving a seven-year term in a Brazilian jail after being used as a drug mule by Cwele and her co-accused Frank Nabolisa, was praying "for the right thing to happen".

In a situation like this, won't God be forced to take a side?

E-mail: thatha.guluva@gmail.com

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