For years, the focus of GBV activism has largely been on supporting victims, a necessary and vital effort. However, Ncobo argues that it’s now time to also address the perpetrators — specifically to understand why they inflict harm in the first place.
His foundation takes a bold, holistic approach by not only offering support to survivors but also working to break the cycle of violence by targeting the psychological and emotional issues that drive violent behaviour.
“We’re not going to adopt the usual anti-crime campaign strategies, like taking ex-convicts to speak against crime. Instead, we’re going to unearth exemplary men in every community,” says Ncobo.
These men, he believes, can serve as role models for young boys and men across the country. “We want to say to our young boys, ‘Here is a man you can emulate in your behaviour’.”
This focus on role models is particularly crucial for boys raised in single-mother households, where male figures are often absent. “One in five boys is raised by a single mother. No matter how well a woman handles the task, a boy child needs a father figure. If not a father, then a man he can look up to. That’s why we’re creating this bank of exemplary men, so single mothers can say, ‘Look at this man. Read about what he does. Take him as your role model.’”
Ncobo is also addressing the broader societal need for accessible conversations about masculinity and mental health. “We want to gather men around in safe spaces and ask, ‘What are your issues?’ It’s not about shaming but healing,” he says.
Ncobo on mission to root out deep-seated causes of GBV
‘This is about creating a future where boys have role models they can aspire to’
Image: Veli Nhlapo
Ace Ncobo’s commitment to tackle the root causes of gender-based violence (GBV) is not just a social mission. It is a deeply personal journey shaped by his own struggles with hardship and survival.
He vividly recalls nights spent going to bed on nothing but a glass of water — a stark reminder of the intense challenges he faced in his youth.
“When you’ve grown up experiencing poverty and somehow rise above it, there’s a force that compels you to plough back,” said Ncobo.
This motivation lies at the heart of his advocacy through his organisation Men’s Fireside Conversations with which he seeks to reshape notions of manhood and tackle the mental health issues that contribute to GBV.
Drawing on the groundbreaking research by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC), Ncobo highlights an important yet often overlooked issue: the mental well-being of the perpetrators.
“There must be something wrong in the mind of a man who causes harm to a woman,” he said, pointing to the study’s findings that many perpetrators of GBV struggle with unresolved mental health issues, including trauma and emotional distress.
SOWETAN SAYS | More effort needed to combat GBV
For years, the focus of GBV activism has largely been on supporting victims, a necessary and vital effort. However, Ncobo argues that it’s now time to also address the perpetrators — specifically to understand why they inflict harm in the first place.
His foundation takes a bold, holistic approach by not only offering support to survivors but also working to break the cycle of violence by targeting the psychological and emotional issues that drive violent behaviour.
“We’re not going to adopt the usual anti-crime campaign strategies, like taking ex-convicts to speak against crime. Instead, we’re going to unearth exemplary men in every community,” says Ncobo.
These men, he believes, can serve as role models for young boys and men across the country. “We want to say to our young boys, ‘Here is a man you can emulate in your behaviour’.”
This focus on role models is particularly crucial for boys raised in single-mother households, where male figures are often absent. “One in five boys is raised by a single mother. No matter how well a woman handles the task, a boy child needs a father figure. If not a father, then a man he can look up to. That’s why we’re creating this bank of exemplary men, so single mothers can say, ‘Look at this man. Read about what he does. Take him as your role model.’”
Ncobo is also addressing the broader societal need for accessible conversations about masculinity and mental health. “We want to gather men around in safe spaces and ask, ‘What are your issues?’ It’s not about shaming but healing,” he says.
These conversations are paired with masterclasses, where experts provide insights, followed by interactive discussions. Recognising the limitations of physical events, Ncobo is leveraging digital platforms to reach millions. “We’ve seen organisations gather 300 or 500 men in a fancy hotel, but perhaps that’s why we’re not winning. Let’s speak to 20-million men by curating content that’s freely available to every media house,” he says.
As SA enters its 16 Days of Activism for no Violence Against Women and Children, Ncobo emphasises the need for year-round action. “Women have been asking, ‘What are you doing outside of the 16 Days? ’By making this an ongoing conversation, we can build a generation of men who uplift rather than harm.”
Ncobo says the initiative is not just a campaign but a call to action, rooted in his belief that addressing men’s mental health and promoting positive masculinity can transform communities.
“And that's why we launched the online signature campaign, so that even if, as a man in your own little corner, you are not able to speak out, you are not able to attend anything, you are not able to create a group of men in your space, you can at least take pride in signing the pledge, and then asking others to sign the pledge as well.
“This is about creating a future where boys have role models they can aspire to, where manhood is defined by respect, empathy and strength that protects rather than destroys,” he said.
Click here to sign the pledge.
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