Two girls recalled how they were abducted and forced into marriage with older men in the infamous practice known as "ukuthwala".
Nosipho*, 15, who was kidnapped and forced into marriage by a 44-year-old man in September in a KwaZulu-Natal midlands village, said she was still traumatised by the abuse she endured at the hands of her "husband".
She said what hurt her the most was that she was told by her parents to go and marry the man because they were failing to take care of her.
"My parents sold me to this old man just to get money. They orchestrated the plan in order to cash in," she said resentfully.
"I curse the day I was born. On September 3, three men, including my husband, came to my home and told my parents that they were there to fetch me. I cried and screamed but that didn't work because they closed my mouth with a cloth and carried me out .
"That night I lost my dignity, virginity and respect for any man because of what my so-called husband put me through . I had never had sex before but he forced himself on me. When I refused he beat me up," the girl said.
She had been in Grade 8 and had to leave school and become a wife to the man, who was working for a telecoms company in Durban.
Both her parents are unemployed. Nosipho said although she was still hurt by the issue, she continued to stay at her husband's house since she had nowhere else to go.
She is one of six girls who were kidnapped and forced into marriage in a village near Bulwer this year.
Residents who are against the "ukuthwala" said the six cases involved girls aged from 14 to 17.
The community members told Sowetan that older men promised the girls' parents a life of luxury for their daughters.
Concerned resident Jabulani Kheswa said the latest incident was a Grade 9 pupil aged 14, who was kidnapped on her way from school and kept in a certain rich family's homestead for days.
"Last week, the elders from the rich family sent two cows to the abducted girl's family and negotiated lobolo (bride price). It was clear that the girl's parents were aware of the plot, as they did not do anything about the sudden disappearance of their daughter," he said.
Kheswa added that older men from the area were mostly targeting teenagers from poor families.
He said most were abducted from the comfort of their homes and in front of their parents, who in many cases were in cahoots with the abductors.
Another story is that of 16-year-old Sizakele*, who was forced to marry a 39-year-old man last year.
Her parents accepted five cows as ilobolo. She said when her siblings cried their father said that was how things were done.
"My mother did not want me to go but she had no choice. I cried for three days, refusing to eat or sleep. My mother-in-law would come into our house to beg me to accept the situation, saying her son had chosen me ," she said.
"After a while I realised that there was no going back. I had to sleep with a man I did not love. She (mother-in-law) and her son called me names when I could not conceive. When I finally did and gave birth, the child was a stillborn. The second time I had a miscarriage."
The teenager said she ended up making peace with staying at her husband's place because even her parents would not take her back.
She said her mother-in-law and husband threatened to kill her if she ever reported the matter to the police. Her husband is a local businessman.
'It's best for our daughters'
One of the girls' fathers said they were doing what their forefathers did and not even government could change that.
"These new policies kill our customs because they now tell us about human rights that don't exist in our customs. Government must leave us alone and let us do what is best for our daughters," the man said.
Mayor of the Dr Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma local municipality, Ngeneleni Mncwabe, said more than 15 cases of "ukuthwala" were recently reported to them by community members.
"We have received more than 15 complaints from the residents but victims are afraid to come forward. We are planning to meet parents, traditional leaders, community safety and social development departments in order to put this issue to rest," she said.
Mncwabe said it was difficult to deal with the matter as victims did not want to come forward and go against their families.
Provincial social development MEC Weziwe Thusi said the department was not aware of the situation.
"We are going to investigate the matter and if the allegations are true the perpetrators of the practice will have to face the full might of the law. We are tired of older men taking advantage of young women," she said.
*Not their real names.
Forced marriages hurt poor girls - parents act in collusion while state doesn't help
Two girls recalled how they were abducted and forced into marriage with older men in the infamous practice known as "ukuthwala".
Nosipho*, 15, who was kidnapped and forced into marriage by a 44-year-old man in September in a KwaZulu-Natal midlands village, said she was still traumatised by the abuse she endured at the hands of her "husband".
She said what hurt her the most was that she was told by her parents to go and marry the man because they were failing to take care of her.
"My parents sold me to this old man just to get money. They orchestrated the plan in order to cash in," she said resentfully.
"I curse the day I was born. On September 3, three men, including my husband, came to my home and told my parents that they were there to fetch me. I cried and screamed but that didn't work because they closed my mouth with a cloth and carried me out .
"That night I lost my dignity, virginity and respect for any man because of what my so-called husband put me through . I had never had sex before but he forced himself on me. When I refused he beat me up," the girl said.
She had been in Grade 8 and had to leave school and become a wife to the man, who was working for a telecoms company in Durban.
Both her parents are unemployed. Nosipho said although she was still hurt by the issue, she continued to stay at her husband's house since she had nowhere else to go.
She is one of six girls who were kidnapped and forced into marriage in a village near Bulwer this year.
Residents who are against the "ukuthwala" said the six cases involved girls aged from 14 to 17.
The community members told Sowetan that older men promised the girls' parents a life of luxury for their daughters.
Concerned resident Jabulani Kheswa said the latest incident was a Grade 9 pupil aged 14, who was kidnapped on her way from school and kept in a certain rich family's homestead for days.
"Last week, the elders from the rich family sent two cows to the abducted girl's family and negotiated lobolo (bride price). It was clear that the girl's parents were aware of the plot, as they did not do anything about the sudden disappearance of their daughter," he said.
Kheswa added that older men from the area were mostly targeting teenagers from poor families.
He said most were abducted from the comfort of their homes and in front of their parents, who in many cases were in cahoots with the abductors.
Another story is that of 16-year-old Sizakele*, who was forced to marry a 39-year-old man last year.
Her parents accepted five cows as ilobolo. She said when her siblings cried their father said that was how things were done.
"My mother did not want me to go but she had no choice. I cried for three days, refusing to eat or sleep. My mother-in-law would come into our house to beg me to accept the situation, saying her son had chosen me ," she said.
"After a while I realised that there was no going back. I had to sleep with a man I did not love. She (mother-in-law) and her son called me names when I could not conceive. When I finally did and gave birth, the child was a stillborn. The second time I had a miscarriage."
The teenager said she ended up making peace with staying at her husband's place because even her parents would not take her back.
She said her mother-in-law and husband threatened to kill her if she ever reported the matter to the police. Her husband is a local businessman.
'It's best for our daughters'
One of the girls' fathers said they were doing what their forefathers did and not even government could change that.
"These new policies kill our customs because they now tell us about human rights that don't exist in our customs. Government must leave us alone and let us do what is best for our daughters," the man said.
Mayor of the Dr Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma local municipality, Ngeneleni Mncwabe, said more than 15 cases of "ukuthwala" were recently reported to them by community members.
"We have received more than 15 complaints from the residents but victims are afraid to come forward. We are planning to meet parents, traditional leaders, community safety and social development departments in order to put this issue to rest," she said.
Mncwabe said it was difficult to deal with the matter as victims did not want to come forward and go against their families.
Provincial social development MEC Weziwe Thusi said the department was not aware of the situation.
"We are going to investigate the matter and if the allegations are true the perpetrators of the practice will have to face the full might of the law. We are tired of older men taking advantage of young women," she said.
*Not their real names.
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