It is a well-known fact that divorce is a terrible process for both parents and children.

Very rarely will you find a couple going through a divorce amicably, with no drama. This can even be uglier if there are kids involved.

Not only can the parents' separation be emotionally taxing on kids, but if the battle over custody ensues, the gloves can really come off. During a custody battle, even though the courts used to lean towards the mother, the most suitable parent will be the one to take care of the children.

Bestselling author Melinda Ferguson sent shock waves across the country when she admitted to having lost custody of her two kids in her gripping memoir, Smacked.

In it she reveals how, because of her extensive drug use, her kids were taken away from her, a fact that she stated she would always blame herself for.

But what else can contribute to any parent losing custody of the kids?

Mduduzi Singwane of BM Singwane Attorneys takes us through the various factors that can be frowned upon by the courts, leading to only one parent being granted custody of the kids.

"The first thing that people need to realis e is that the courts always base whatever decision they grant towards custody on the best interest of the kids. Because the parents may be at war and emotions may be high, the courts feel that someone needs to stand up on behalf of the kids and do what is best for them. That is what custody is based on," says Singwane.

"If there is a battle over who should get custody of the kids, the courts will normally appoint an impartial social worker who will conduct an evaluation of both parents and report their findings back to the court. What they have to say, although not being the final determining factor, can go a long way towards the court's decision."

Here are some of the factors that can make a parent to lose custody.

DRUG USE

If a parent is proved to have any habitual use of drugs, this could affect their chances of having custody of the kids.

Addiction to drugs affects one's ability to take care of the kids. The courts would not want them to grow up in an environment where there is rampant drug use, as it affects them emotionally and physically and has the potential to be a bad influence on them.

If it can be proved that one parent has an addiction to drugs, chances are they will be found not fit enough to be a primary custodian of the kids.

AN UNSTABLE HOME ENVIRONMENT

An unstable home environment consists of many factors. If one parent is never home, is always travelling, neglecting the kids and leaving them on their own, or constantly moving, this can be perceived as an unstable home environment by the courts.

Kids need to be in a loving, secure and permanent place of residence.

MENTAL INSTABILITY

This is a very sensitive matter. It will require intensive analysis by the courts - calling in various experts - to prove one parent's mental instability.

This can range from a psychiatrist's report to a psychologist and even a social worker. But this is not to suggest that parents with mental illnesses cannot take care of the kids.

What the courts look at is whether or not a parent's mental illness can jeopardise their ability to take care of the children properly.

RECKLESSNESS

This is when a parent's unsavoury actions can come back to haunt them. It can range from a house fire because the parent locked the kids in the house to go drinking, to having a car accident with the kids in the car because the parent was driving while drunk, to locking the child in the car while shopping.

These are actions that the parent has done that have shown recklessness on their part and have affected the kids either physically or psychologically.

If the parents separate, the courts will always try to encourage an amicable agreement of custody.

"One parent can have primary custody. This means the kids will stay full-time with this parent while the other can have secondary custody - over weekends, school holidays and special holidays."

Custody help corner

Singwane on some frequently asked questions about custody battles.

"I'M UNEMPLOYED. AM I AT RISK OF LOSING CUSTODY TO MY MORE WEALTHY EX?"

Singwane: "Not at all. Being unemployed is not something that endangers the safety of the kids or their wellbeing. The most important thing is that children grow up in a loving, warm and secure home environment, and unemployment does not necessarily affect that."

"MY EX HUSBAND SAYS SINCE OUR MARRIAGE IS ENDING BECAUSE OF MY INFIDELITY, THIS WILL AFFECT MY CHANCES OF HAVING CUSTODY OF MY CHILDREN."

Singwane: "This is not necessarily true. Yes, infidelity that led to the demise of the marriage can come into play when it comes to the divorce settlement, but infidelity is not an indication of one's ability to be a good parent.

"But it can, become a factor that the court takes into consideration when one parent was cheating with a well-known druglord, for example, and perhaps visiting your lover with the kids and subjecting them to that environment."

"MY EX AGREED TO SHARED CUSTODY OF THE KIDS, BUT NOW REFUSES TO GRANT ME ACCESS TO THEM."

Singwane: "You can approach the courts and advise them of what is going on. Every parent has a right to their children, unless proved otherwise, and if the one parent is refusing access for no apparent reason, or just being spiteful, the courts will frown upon that."