REMEMBER the drab Sylbna Lifestyle Awards that Madi once told you were the worst thing Madi had ever seen since Vinolia Mashego's PLS Call Me show?

Well, the plot thickens.

Madi was minding her own business when blogger for Notedfashion Malusi Garishe complained about some "misunderstanding" backstage at the awards. They were announced as the winner of the best blogger category but were told Iko Mash had their award, and they'd "get it soon".

Well, they are still waiting, while Iko still has their award on her room divider - probably next to her million hideous wigs - and hasn't made any attempt to return it.

Madi wanted to yawn listening to that.

I mean, what does Madi look like - toothless and facilitating the Truth and Reconciliation Commission?

A word of advice: just let it go, sweets.

Those awards were like being handed a lucky packet ring by your lover. The gesture is cute, but practically useless.

If they had invested an extra R2 into engraving the award instead of using a sticker, I'd understand your frustration.

Let's move along swiftly.

Madi attended the e.tv Open View HD promotion event held at the Joburg Expo Centre in Nasrec. Kudos to the e.tv organisers, their events never let Madi down.

But some quick gossip before we continue.

Apparently Khanyi Mbau was expected to make an appearance, but wanted compensation for it.

The Open View folks were horrified because Khanyi is already part of the Open View family, so her arrival would have been like another day at the office.

Well, Khanyi refused and didn't show up.

Yoh! Mara Khanyi. They are your employers, love, not old men with a boep and sneezing money.

Okay, onto the event.

Madi felt as if Ntombi Ngcobo-Mzolo was stalking her!

You know her, the one from that family maskandi group Amaponi, who had no qualms gyrating half-naked on stage next to daddy.

The previous day Madi had a meeting with her private banker at Maponya Mall and heard what sounded like a cat screeching while having kittens in the parking lot.

It turned out to be Ntombi, doing some soppy promotion, shrieking all over the place.

Gosh, Madi looked away and carried on with her errands.

The very next day there she was again, at the e.tv event.

Yoh, sis Ntombi, you need a stylist, pronto.

She decided to wear stockings with those bum shorts - you know, as Beyoncé always does .

Except that while boarding the Beyoncéville bus, she dozed off and ended up in Brits.

Also, Ntombi, please avoid bat caves next time love, you see what happened to your hairline?

Ntombi performed songs from her debut solo album, which Madi thinks is great.

The shebeens all over Soweto should be pumping it into their R2-a-song jukeboxes soon.

Madi bumped into Khumbul'ekhaya's Andile Gaelesiwe, who flat out refused to pose for a picture.

Madi took one look at her and completely understood.

If I looked like that, I'd also hide.

Seems miss Andy has gone back to her Abuti Yo days look.

She was wearing such a short dress the Bush Pie Venda porn director would have said "too much skin".

Andile, nothing is more unattractive than an 83-year-old's thighs. Let's cover them up.

Madi loves how Nonhle Thema is so demure nowadays. Seems like she took her own advice and sat down. She looked so cute.

But the straw hat was a bit much. It was just an e.tv event love, not a polo match.

Quick one: Amo Chidi - if you don't have a flat stomach and instead have Tina the Talking Tummy, please don't show it to us, it's disgusting.

That top showing your midriff was out of line.

Wow, Sandile Dlamini who plays Jafta on Rhythm City, was there with some girl who looked as if she was going to hang her laundry.

Bhut'Sandile please don't dance. Yoh! A housefly on the treadmill I tell you!

Overall, great event.

Great performances by Reason and Udu. Madi just wishes Udu would stop with the nyoso (nonsense) thing. It's old now.

OH HELL, NO!

MADI has realised that most women underestimate the value of a good bra and proper fit.

Ladies, knowing your bra size should be like knowing your ID number!

Take Marjorie Langa for example, who was also at the e.tv event.

She had rolls upon rolls protruding from her back. If she had a Wonderbra on, it certainly wasn't doing wonders.

Ladies, let's not buy our undergarments from shops like Pep.

Invest in a good bra, then ask those snooty sales ladies to fit you.

It's completely free.

The stuffed sausage look is not cute.

For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays