Long-distance relationship is putting strain on us

I HAVE been in a relationship with a woman for a year.

I HAVE been in a relationship with a woman for a year.

During this time, the company she works for transferred her to Cape Town. We speak every day on the phone and try to see each other at least once a month.

This is not always possible though.

She has been away for four months now and I think both of us are feeling the strain of a long-distance relationship. Most of the time when we talk on the phone, we fight.

As soon as we see each other everything is great. We really love each other, but I am starting to wonder if this relationship will work.

She is an ambitious woman and there is no chance of her transferring back to Johannesburg any time soon. I am doing very well in my career so I cannot move to Cape Town.

I feel desperate because I love her so much, but I don't know how to make this work.

Torn, Johannesburg

Long-distance relationships are never easy.

When you are together you must discuss the problems both of you are facing. Firstly, you have to establish whether you do see a future together. If this was to happen, where would you live and how would this affect your lives. You need to find out whether you share the same goals in life.

If you decide that you want to try and make it work, then you have to find ways of communicating in a more positive way.

Tell each other how you feel when you argue and together find ways to avoid doing this. This will give you a chance to learn about each other and whether you both are able to solve challenges together.

There is no doubt that if you continue fighting, your relationship will end. If it does, then not everything is lost.

Both of you will have learnt valuable life lessons and also what you need in a relationship.