NOT FOR THE FAINT AT HEART

I THINK of myself as an adventurous adrenalin-rush junkie. Very few things shock me. At least that's what I thought, until I went to Teazers adult entertainment club in Rivonia on Wednesday night.

I THINK of myself as an adventurous adrenalin-rush junkie. Very few things shock me. At least that's what I thought, until I went to Teazers adult entertainment club in Rivonia on Wednesday night.

I had jumped at the impromptu assignment, out of curiosity. I had no idea what to expect. But the moment I walked through the door, I was impressed by the decor and layout. The girls were already sitting and chatting among themselves.

It has a club vibe, with nice pop music from the DJ deck, just above the sushi bar. Neon lighting, velvet curtains and a fully stocked bar with expensive champaign. It's colourful and beautiful.

I could just see how the larger-than-life Lolly Jackson basked in his own glory in this setting.

At the door, R150 is demanded by an unfriendly woman behind the till.

Our waitress is more welcoming. The club is almost empty, save for the 20 dancers who are sitting and chatting. In their skimpiest best, they are waiting to entertain the clients.

A waiter approaches me and my colleague Katlego Moeng and leads us to our table. She offers us a menu and we order drinks. As we are getting comfortable, Razia, the only black dancer we saw in the club, approaches.

She introduces herself. We start chatting. She is from Kenya. Has been working at the club for six years. It's around 7.30pm and there are no clients. She assures us that they will come, it is too early. We were among the first patrons to arrive. By 9pm, things will be better, she says.

She offers to dance for us. I am a bit sceptical but Katlego is already drooling, so we agree. After dinner just after 9pm, Razia makes her way to us, her first clients, opposite the sushi bar. She reassurers us that we will not regret choosing her to entertain us.

But as soon as she starts, I regret.

Razia's moves are too explicit and disgusting for me. But then again, I am not a man because Katlego is taken by the whole X-rated routine. She starts by gyrating and then strips, to her birthday suit. I am still fine at this stage. What traumatises me is when she starts rubbing her boobs on my face. Damn, I almost threw up.

Just when I think it cannot get worse, she starts masturbating. I beg her to stop but she tells me I shouldn't be shy, it's her job to please. I can feel my stomach rumbling.

At least, I learnt my lesson. It's not for the faint-hearted.

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