Sex goddesses call the shots

SHE turns heads. When she steps into a room everyone is dazzled. She is beautiful, voluptuous and drop-dead sexy.

She is the kind of woman every man would love to get between the sheets every night.

She is a sex goddess.

Think Congolese model Joelle Kayembe. Think women like Azania Ndoro, Katlego Danke and Sonia Sedibe.

The website,, says a sex goddess is a sensuous, seductive, confident woman who further knows what and who she wants. It says that dating a sex goddess isn't the same as dating Zoleka from next door.

Ruth Smalls, a relationship expert, says you need not have long legs like Babalwa Mneno's. She says you can be big like Tselane Tambo, thin and petite like Doris Msibi or beautiful like Tansey Coetzee and still entrance the person of your dreams with your sexuality.

What makes a sex goddess?

Smalls says a sex goddess has a hell of an attitude and she even manages to keep her knickers on - a lot of the time.

"To become truly sexy a woman must access the capable, confident, beautiful goddess lurking within. She has power both in the bedroom and in the boardroom, but she does not pull rank for the sake of pulling rank.

"The true mark of a goddess is that she plays with others but they cannot play with her."

Characteristics of a sex goddess

l A sex goddess does not absent-mindedly take the wax out of her ears.

l She would not try to secretly pick her teeth or chew gum.

l She won't clip her toe nails in bed, even if she's been married for a lifetime, because letting it all hang out is not an option.

l Sex goddesses are sensitive and tender, yet when aroused can lust. Beware, though, when angry she turns wild and savage, becoming a destructive force that is both enthralling and infuriating.

l She will eat more than salad, and if eating out won't keep sending her food back to the kitchen. Food is a passion and picky eating shows a lack of passion.

l A sex goddess will look right at people when they talk to her. She will ignore any distraction. Total and complete attention is so very seductive.

l She cares about the men in her life, but she won't try to mother them. She will suggest that he take an umbrella if it's going to rain, but only once. If he does not, then that's it!

l A true sex goddess always keeps her man off balance and feeling sexy by noticing and mentioning the little things about him that turn her on, like the scent of his aftershave, the muscle tone of his shoulders, the sound of his voice on the phone and a particular sexual technique that he is good at.

l She will unexpectedly leave him a gift, maybe in his briefcase or in his jacket pocket, infrequently enough so that it will always be a surprise.

l She is confident and power dressing and walking tall makes her exude sex appeal.

l She has confidence in herself. It's all about her attitude. She knows she's gorgeous and that she deserves the best; this is not arrogance, it's pure self-belief.

l She's so comfortable with herself that she listens properly to others and talks easily. A neurotic, flapping woman will never be a goddess.

l She dresses appropriately, highlighting the good bits and minimising the bad.

"You don't want to look like you're trying too hard, so don't have your boobs hanging out and your bum on display. Wear something flattering to your body shape and something suitable for where you're heading off to."

l Anyone can flirt but the truth is not everyone can do it effectively. We all know how to toss our hair and how to run our tongues over our lips suggestively, but unless it's carefully done there's a very real risk of looking like a drag queen.

l A sex goddess knows that it's okay to not have or even want sex all the time.

Most partners would prefer that you said no rather than begrudgingly perform on demand. And besides, the unpredictability of occasionally saying no could actually make her sex life more exciting, because when sex becomes automatic, she loses the thrill of it. -