q7 a monster with a grunt to match

IF YOU subscribe to the theory "size counts" and big is better, then the Audi Q7 must be the best darn vehicle in the ever expanding sports utility vehicle segment.

IF YOU subscribe to the theory "size counts" and big is better, then the Audi Q7 must be the best darn vehicle in the ever expanding sports utility vehicle segment.

Despite being the size of a humpback whale - and looking a bit like it - the vehicle has found a home with the nouveau rich and for those to whom the term "recession" is just a word and something that affects other people.

On a serious note, how big is it? Well, if I laid former boxer Baby Jake Matlala flat on the ground and multiplied him four times, he still wouldn't be as long as the Q7 (for the record it's actually just over 5m long). In fact, the week I cruised around in it the only thing that came close to it was a Putco bus ... and that doesn't count.

With its 21-inch rims, a V8 4.2-litre diesel engine that is equipped with two turbochargers and with enough grunt (250kW and 760Nm) to power a space shuttle plus a whopping 100- litre fuel tank, you get what I mean by it being big.

The Q7 will propel you to 100kmh in 6,4 seconds and run out of steam at 236kmh .

CO2 emissions are becoming more relevant to our polluted environment and the Q7 spews out 294g per 100km ... but then again I doubt if too many people who opt for a Q7 belong to Friends of the Earth or Greenpeace.

On the open road it handles like a dream and eats up the tar quicker than King Mswati III adds a new wife to his haven.

If I am to mention all the features the Q7 comes equipped with, this will need to be a two-part review, and the chances of that happening are slimmer than Julius Malema and Eugene Terre'Blance exchanging potjiekos recipes.

There's no point in talking about fuel consumption because if you're going to be buying a vehicle like the Q7 that will be the last thing on your mind.

Did I enjoy the Q7? Well of course I did. Would I buy it? No!

For me the smaller Audi Q5 leaves her big brother for dead. It has most of the features of the Q7 but just on a smaller scale, plus it costs less than the bigger version.

Does that shoot down the "big is better" theory. I hope so!

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