The woman I love is back with her former boyfriend

I am man aged 23 and in love with a woman aged 20. We were introduced by a mutual friend who said she was sure we would get on well together.

I am man aged 23 and in love with a woman aged 20. We were introduced by a mutual friend who said she was sure we would get on well together.

I felt that from the moment we met we had a connection. We spoke easily to each other and we share many common interests.

She had broken up with her boyfriend a month before she met me. They had been together for nearly a year and she says that he was her first true love.

He continued to phone her even though they had ended their relationship and was often abusive when he spoke to her.

I eventually told her that I thought she should not take his calls, particularly because he was rude to her.

I was surprised when she defended him, saying that she still had feelings for him. She said she was sorry and was going back to him.

I was deeply hurt. A few days later she phoned me and said she had left her boyfriend for good.

We got back together again, but a few weeks after that she went back to him.

I haven't heard from her since. I have tried to phone her, but she won't take my calls. The problem is that I really like her and I cannot forget her. Her boyfriend is no good and she deserves much better.

What should I do?

Hurt, Pretoria

I can understand how hurt you must be. However, I don't think this woman was ever really yours.

After ending a relationship a person needs to give themselves time to heal and make sure that they are ready for a new relationship.

I am sure the two of you had a connection, but she is back with her boyfriend and you have to come to terms with that. You have to stop contacting her and try to move on. If you don't, you will be hurt again.

Even if this man is not a desirable person for her, she has to learn her own lessons and nothing you do will change that. In time, you will heal and you will meet someone possibly better than her.

Life is too short to sit around waiting for a person who might never be yours.

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