I am at present in a relationship of eight years and I have a 5-year-old child from the union.

I am at present in a relationship of eight years and I have a 5-year-old child from the union.

He recently told me that he had met a woman friend whom he had not seen for a while.

I didn't have any issues in that regard because it would be unrealistic to think that he does not have female friends.

When they met the friend gave him a photograph of herself to keep. When I asked him why, I was told that she said he should use it to remember her.

I am baffled, or maybe over-reacting, but I feel that this is very disrespectful towards me since she knows he has a girlfriend.

I really don't want to make an issue out of this but I feel it needs to be dealt with.

The thing is that he doesn't seem to understand why I am reacting because he seems to think that I must appreciate the fact that he told me.

Anonymous,Johannesburg

Sister, you sound like a very mature and emotionally-together woman, so I am surprised by your reaction.

As you say it would be unrealistic to expect him not to have female friends, and it would show extreme insecurity and a need to control. So, well-done on recognising that fact.

In his defence I must say he is right to point out that he told you about the meeting.

He did not hide the photograph from you nor the sentiment with which it was given to him.

I presume the photograph is not a "sexy" one, so I don't think you should be threatened or uncomfortable. After all, you surely have photographs of your friends, both male and female?

As long as their friendship remains just a friendship, and does not become something overly emotional, I think you should back off on this one.

The more you push him on this the more you will push him away. It sounds like something innocent and I don't think you should make more out of it.

But keep a watchful eye on developments without showing jealousy and insecurity. Those are not qualities anyone wants in their life.

Good luck, sister.