I cannot father a child and the fact is killing me

I am a guy aged 32 in a relationship with a woman of 31 for five years. She has a son from a previous affair.

I am a guy aged 32 in a relationship with a woman of 31 for five years. She has a son from a previous affair.

She is willing to have my baby, but nothing is happening.

My parents do not appreciate our relationship and my dad is always telling me that I am getting old and will never have kids. This is killing me.

I am thinking of having unprotected sex with any girl to get them pregnant. Please help.

Barren, Johannesburg

Brother, are you just stupid or both stupid and suicidal? And selfish. Having unprotected sex with other women (note the use of the word women, as opposed to your demeaning use of girl/s) that will put you at risk of contracting HIV. And if you do become HIV positive, you will pass it on to your partner. And how do you think her son will cope as an Aids orphan?

If she already has a child, that would seem to mean that she is able to fall pregnant, so the problem may well lie with you. Before you do something stupid and selfish, go to a doctor to be tested. It may turn out that you are not able to father a child. And if that is the case, what is the point of sleeping around?

And if you can't have a child, is that such a terrible thing? No. This is about ego, about producing something that is part of you. What's wrong with adopting a child who is desperate for a loving home?

If the fault is not with you, then your partner should get tested and explore how she could carry your child.

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