USE WORDS To SHOW YOUR LOVE

As parents, we take our love for our children as a given. But do we consider whether the way we talk to them communicates that love to them?

As parents, we take our love for our children as a given. But do we consider whether the way we talk to them communicates that love to them?

Many of us have a tendency to use negatives when talking. The first thing to do is pay attention to how many positive things you say to your child each day. If she packs away her toys, say: "Wow, the room is so clean."

Make phrases like "great" "good job", "I'm proud of you" and "wow, that was great" part of your vocabulary.

You need to come up with the words that will mean the most to your child. The key is, for every negative word you say ("no, stop, don't do that") try and find an opportunity to say positive words as well.

Write down some of your child's positive behaviours (when she or he helps around the house, picks up her clothes, always says please) and then list the behaviours she has difficulty with (like fighting, screaming, not putting away her toys)

Take a piece of oak-tag and write on top, "Ashley's [your child's name] Good Work," or choose another title that appeals to you. Divide the paper into eight columns. Write two or three of your child's good behaviours on the first column of the list. Now choose three or four behaviours that your child needs to "work on" and describe these behaviours in a positive manner.

l Instead of "no hitting" you can write "plays nicely".

l Instead of "no screaming" you can write "speaks softly".

l Instead of "no making a mess" you can write "cleans up nicely".

Add the positive items to the first column of the chart. Make a grid so that your child has a square for each day of the week. Do a week at a time or try to set up the oak-tag the long way and then fit in several weeks on the same page. Use small stickers that will fit into the spaces.

Make the chart together with your child. Discuss the items you think she already does "great" and the areas she needs to "work on".

Each night before he goes to sleep, go over the chart. Give him a sticker for every item on the list that he did well that day. In this way, you will end each day by pointing out several things your child did well and will give him an incentive during the day to work on the areas he has difficulty with. - From Whole Family

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