My oversensitive friend is making life miserable

One of my colleagues is also a good friend. I am very fond of her. We've been friends for about four years.

One of my colleagues is also a good friend. I am very fond of her. We've been friends for about four years.

She is funny, intelligent, attractive and fun to be with - most of the time. But she is oversensitive and flies off the handle about the smallest things. She loses it, sulks and her passive aggression changes the atmosphere for everyone. She suffers from very low self-esteem and has a victim mentality.

We have spent many hours talking about this, but she just can't seem to change her ways.

She has alienated many people with her behaviour. I have tried very hard not to let it affect me, but it does. And now colleagues and friends are staying away from me because they can't deal with her.

I really like her and I don't want to dump her, but she is affecting my life in a bad way. What should I do?

Ready To Run, Roodepoort

What you should do is sit her down and have one final heart-to-heart. Tell her that you are fond of her and that you enjoy her because of her good qualities. List the goodqualities to help her low self-esteem.

Then, it is time to be brutal to be kind. Tell her that the good stuff is not enough to push the bad stuff away.

That the good stuff is not enough to endear people so much that they don't want to run from the bad stuff. That the good stuff is no longer enough to keep you close as a friend.

That she will lose everyone if she doesn't change.

Tell her that she will only have herself to blame for her loneliness. Tell her that you will change from friend to colleague and acquaintance if she can't alter her behaviour.

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