My older partner refuses to grow old gracefully

I am 36 and dating a man of 54. I am very fond of him and could fall in love with him.

I am 36 and dating a man of 54. I am very fond of him and could fall in love with him.

The reason why I have not fallen in love is not because of his age - that is what attracted me in the first place - but because he acts and dresses younger than he is and I cringe with embarrassment.

He is balding, but grows his hair because he thinks it makes him look younger, while all it does is make him look ridiculous. He has a paunch and flabby skin, but insists on wearing tight T-shirts and vests, and jeans and shorts that are too tight and far too young. He even lets his underpants show. Sometimes he is dressed so badly that I don't want to be seen in public with him.

My friends never say anything, but I know they are commenting behind our backs and laughing about him not wanting to accept the ageing process.

I have spoken to him about it, but he says he feels young and thinks he looks young and he wants to do what he is doing.

What should I do? If it goes on I will leave him because I don't want a partner who makes me cringe.

Blushing, Sandton

Whatever you do, keep adverts for Botox and face lifts away from him.

Seriously sister, the only thing you can do is to be honest. Speak to him about the way you feel.

Tell him people are laughing at him behind his back. Tell him he is making a fool of himself. Tell him he is mutton dressing as lamb. Tell him no person in the history of humankind has reversed the ageing process. Tell him that age deserves respect, but acting like a teen only gets laughter and nasty remarks. Tell him you have good emotions for him, but these are being killed by his behaviour and dressing. If he won't change, he doesn't deserve you. Leave him to be with a woman his own age.