Some men drive women to kill
I have always believed the cliche about guys not growing up, but now not only has this notion proved to be nauseating, it's become their greatest excuse.
Guys such as Paul Mashaba and his obsession with computer games make it impossible to be polite and if I have to slam doors again, I'll also remove the handle.
Please help my best friend's man and his buddies stay away from computer games. This hobby is childish, it's time wasting and downright brain smashing.
And worst of all, they want us to take it in our stride and chant: This too shall pass. Mind over matter, right? Well to hell with that. There's more to life than permanently living in hope.
Okay, I admit that my fuse is on the short side, but when you see my friend Fezeka clenching her fist over a matter, you must know things call for intervention of immeasurable magnitude.
Lately she's accompanied that with grinding teeth and a march straight from the camp. She has had it, and the play station is to blame. She says she tries having a conversation with the bloke and all he does is nod urgently and swear at the television screen.
When he had to rush their child (yes she has a child with a big child) to the hospital, all he did there was fidget and rub his thumbs and wrists. He was getting ready for another round or session or whatever it is called.
Asked later if the child was getting better: "What child?" was all he could say. And he wasn't bluffing even though when the penny dropped, he made it sound like a joke.
These games make men lose touch with reality. How many guys have lost valuable assets over juvenile things such as bets and poker games? I hear one guy even bet his girlfriend that his buddy's team would get relegated. And no, no one died when the truth was later revealed. Society just laughed it off, saying "Boys will be boys." How nice.
Yes, I've had it on her behalf and mine. Why should men be left to gallivant without their guards and leashes and we have to play mother and security guard?
I'm not asking anyone to be an empty-skulled giant. I'm merely asking guys to pin it together when we start acting like children around their play stations.
But Fezeka says she threatened to get the thing stolen and she was promised vile things in return. And since she's not exactly a one-eyed Chuck's bride, she coiled back into her couch corner.
Meanwhile, their other couch is growing mould from food particles and the middle is fast resembling a worn-out taxi seat.
"And his bum is getting fatter I must say," she says. Too bad she's telling me.
While you might think my iron fist is far-reaching regarding the game, I've heard hints from my better half that perhaps, all that our child needs is a play station.
She's only six and going to big school next year so I can see right through him. He wants to kill two birds with one stone, having forgotten that he's dating a superhero girlfriend.
I'm cracking because even if it was not the computer games and play station we have to contend with, you would still have men asking for their playtime like this was kindergarten.
I have seen guys preparing to go down the aisle by drinking themselves into a stupor before trying to get lucky with the stripper and still wearing soccer boots down the aisle. And all that people say on such occasions is: "Can't live with them, can't live without them."
Then they try to argue that they are better drivers when there's even insurance aimed only at women. Yes, we are getting to a point here and the point is that, we should govern the country. Men, with their high school antics and playful nature, have driven women to drink and even to kill.
How can we be expected to worship people whose reasoning is usually on the same level as that of a kid who doesn't think twice about experimenting with a cocktail of dangerous substances just for kicks?
Someone needs to take the role of building functional household. Someone needs to draw the budget that doesn't revolve around beverages and toys. Someone needs to drive the car so they can ask for directions and get there on time. Someone needs to wear the pants and take things forward without monkeying around.
That someone is a woman.