Sex complicates things

I hate quoting people because my belief is that, as in books, such things are just monologues of one person looking at things from their one perspective.

I hate quoting people because my belief is that, as in books, such things are just monologues of one person looking at things from their one perspective.

But at the end of the day you spend many a sleepless night wondering: "Is it possible to be this biased, stupid, bitter, narrow-minded and such?"

Yes, I have learnt that I have disliked Celine Dion for this long for one simple reason: that in recent albums she sounded too damn happy when I was busy licking my wounds. I'd be listening to her At Last song and I'd start fidgeting.

Yet lately I've been finding it hard to lay off this specific quote by American cartoonist Scott Adams. He says: "Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating and religion."

Not that I think I'm as sad as he might have been at the time of uttering such profound words. But there is a serious self-deceit that everyone drifts into with the emergence of new love.

We always think this is the woman who's going to take all this away. All my bad luck, all my restlessness, all my troublesome siblings, my troubled childhood.

But in essence that's such an act of selfishness. Why should other people with their own issues come galloping down your driveway to remove the garbage when relationships are nothing like psychotherapy?

If anything, relationships give us more issues. It sounds like sound advice from Oprah Winfrey, I know, but we are too much a generation of unrealistic hope.

Love is a complicated road to insanity. And after stumbling across this one from Woody Allen I took solace in the thought that I'm not the only one asking why we still love.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

Love is not always complicated. There are times when it's so much in sync you just know you and your partner must have met in your previous lives. Mostly it's when he blasts you with such a perfect analysis of a situation it feels like it came straight out of your own mouth.

"Love is having great sex with your best friend." So said my man under intoxication and he insists it was me who said so. So I guess that leads closer to a solution to this whole mess called love.

"Sex complicates things. It corrupts innocent minds and it brings the burden of diseases, attachment and unwanted pregnancies. Yet it is the only thing I recommend for spouses who lose their way somewhere trying to get things off and nearing the end of the road.

It all boils down to good or bad sex." So says my shrink.

And for the first time I believe her. The more I think about it, the more I know that she has a shrink of her own. She's always trying to look so perfect, so soft-spoken, so calm, so in control and all, but I can see right through her. She blurted it out and it made her look so real she should consider living on this earth.

In any event, she confirms that sex is a major culprit for the pendulum movement in relationships. Love is not complicated at all. It is sex that stirs things up and the Bible lists it as a sin if done outside marriage for the simple reason of protecting us from the consequences of that forbidden fruit.

But my take is that once you have crossed the line, make sure to do a good job.

"When people make love they should do so as if they were in a talent contest, because every round takes you to the next level or gets you demoted, no matter what. That it is with your best friend actually flies out the window.

"Making out time is the only time where your best friend is allowed to use her discretion and say okay you're in, or systematically kick you out."

He claims I said this and it makes sense to me.

Perhaps this is the thing people have. We get stuck in the state of looking at sex as a major sin so we would rather participate moderately and score low than make a full admission and rock his world like no one has.

"Sex is a damn competition and it does make love grow or die. Just make sure yours grows or have love complications," warns my shrink.

Love is like having great sex with your best friend