The pain we think we're feeling is an illusion, says government spokesman Joel Netshitenzhe.

The pain we think we're feeling is an illusion, says government spokesman Joel Netshitenzhe.

The state's esteemed spin doctor-in-chief quotes statistics from a recent government report to support his contention that poverty and crime levels are way down.

Good to hear that, sir. But as Queen Victoria's favourite politician Benjamin Disraeli observed, "there are lies, damned lies, and statistics".

Burglaries and other property crimes have shrunk, say the stats. True, but read the fine print and you'll find that robberies are up. So where a drug-crazed petty thief once merely broke a window to nick your household effects he now mugs you first.

And that's good?

Unemployment figures are also shrinking. But the government neglects to tell us that it doesn't count those who in despair have given up even looking for work.

Maybe we should devise a comfortable politically correct term such as "pay cheque challenged" for these folks and just ignore them.

When will our political masters learn there is many a slip between good intentions and their realisation.

Perception is reality for folks who feel poor and victims of unbridled crime.

So let's stop prevaricating and fix the problems everyone, apart from our bureaucrats, see all around them.