My woman lives far and seeing her is costing a bundle

I met a wonderful woman on an Internet dating site and we have fallen in love. We have been dating for five months now and everything between us is just perfect.

I met a wonderful woman on an Internet dating site and we have fallen in love. We have been dating for five months now and everything between us is just perfect.

The problem is that she lives in Cape Town and I live in Johannesburg. I earn a lot more than she does so I have been paying for her to fly to Johannesburg every two weeks or for me to fly down to her.

When we are together I pay for everything - movies, meals, petrol and so on.

While I don't mind the expense, I find I am no longer saving any money. Before we met I was saving every month and I have a little nest egg I want to use as a deposit on a house. But now I am not saving and my nest egg is not growing.

I have asked her to move but she has family and friends there and doesn't want to leave them. She says she would also struggle to find a new job because she does not have any qualifications.

I have my own business and I could move it to Cape Town but what if things don't work out between us?

What is your advice?

In Love, Johannesburg

Whoa. Slow down. Take it easy. That is my advice.

You have known this woman for five months only and already you are talking about moving? Surely you know that this is rushing things?

Why don't you give it at least a year or, ideally, even two years before you even think of upping and moving?

If by that time you two are still going strong you can talk about moving your business and life.

In the meantime, why not cut down to one flight a month and put the money you would have spent on a second ticket into your savings? Or do one flight one month and two the next.

It is important for you to hold on to your dream of owning your own home, so continue saving so that you have enough to buy a place when and if you move to Cape Town.

Property is expensive in the Mother City, so you will need every cent you can put away.

Another benefit of taking it slowly is that you will give yourself time to get to know Cape Town better and decide whether you enjoy living there.

If you really love it you will know that you will be happy there even if things don't work out between the two of you.

X