Lose some weight and regain your sex appeal

I have been with my boyfriend for four years. The problem is that he does not want to have sex with me. We used to have sex a few times a week, but now we have not had sex for three months.

I have been with my boyfriend for four years. The problem is that he does not want to have sex with me. We used to have sex a few times a week, but now we have not had sex for three months.

I keep asking him about it and he keeps saying there is not a problem, it's just that he is working hard and is tired. But I don't believe him.

Deep inside I know that he no longer finds me attractive because I have put on weight. In the four years we have been together I have put on 22kg and now weigh just under 100kg. I don't feel sexy and I know he doesn't find me sexy either.

The problem is that I'm so unhappy now that I can't stop eating to comfort myself. I fear I will get bigger and he will leave and find someone else. What should I do?

Fatty, Johannesburg

Sister, before you starve yourself and start looking like a piece of spaghetti, sit down with your boyfriend and tell him it's time for an honest talk.

The fact is, many couples find themselves having less sex as they spend more time together, so the problem may be one that everyone experiences.

Find out exactly what is wrong. Perhaps he really is working too hard and is tired. Will a holiday or weekend break help? Perhaps he is depressed and his libido has been affected?

Talk to each other to find out what has gone wrong between you.

If he admits that your weight is a problem you will have to decide if it is a big enough problem for you to want to shed the kilos.

Do you love him enough to look good for him? Weighing 100kg is on the heavy side, and you are putting your health at risk by carrying this around.

Why not go to a gym and change your eating habits to lose some of that lard and start feeling good again?

From the sound of it you don't feel sexy, so why should anyone else find you appealing? If you feel good you exude confidence and that is attractive.

Take control of your body and slim down a bit.

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