Some humour from palookas

TheUsuzwile Mkhozi crew went out to gather these humorous lines on both soccer and boxing for you.

TheUsuzwile Mkhozi crew went out to gather these humorous lines on both soccer and boxing for you.

First, soccer:

Millions of people play soccer because that way they don't have to watch it on TV.

Soccer players do better academically than football players because soccer players use their heads.

A child, playing in a kids' soccer league, was asked by his dad how the game went.

His: "It would have gone better if the other team would just learn how to share!"

Q. Who are the most indispensable men in international soccer competition?

A. The riot police.

Q. What has 22 legs and goes, "Crunch, crunch, crunch?"

A. A soccer team eating potato chips.

l Now let's turn to the noble art and hear some of the mutterings from some punch-drunk palookas:

"He's an ambidextrous fighter. He can get knocked out with either hand."

"He was a crossword puzzle boxer. He entered the ring vertical and left horizontal."

I quit because I had a problem with my hands. The refs kept stepping on them.

Ex-boxer: "I'm in great shape. Every artery in my body is hard."

Manager: "How would you like to fight for the crown?"

Boxer: "Great. I think I can take the queen in about three rounds."

"When I was a fighter I kept my head. I lost my teeth, but I kept my head."

A boxing fans says he never thought there would be women's boxing.

"I always thought a woman wouldn't think of putting on gloves without a purse and shoes to match."

Boxer, after battering opponent unmercifully: "There will be no rematch for that chump. My hands couldn't stand the punishment."

"He boxed as Kid Candle. One blow and he was out."

The boxer wrote on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."

"My dad is a boxer." "What is your mother?" "Extremely cautious!"

His trainer told him to stay down till eight. He looked up from the canvas and asked: "What time is it now?"

He only learned to count up to 10. He thought that after 10 "you're out!"

"The boxer was so far behind in points he had to knock out his opponent just to get a draw."

"He's the only boxer in the history of the sport to be knocked out while shadow boxing."

A fighter was taking a terrific beating. When the bell rang, he staggered to his corner. His manager whispered to him: "Let him hit you with his left for a while. Your face is crooked."

"Just think of it," said the boastful boxer to the manager. "Tonight I'll be fighting on TV before millions of people."

"Yes," replied the manager, "and they'll all know the results of the fight at least 10 seconds before you do."