Calling a spade a shallow mining implement

In preparation for 2010 World Cup in Mzansi, these new titles have been recommended by the chairman of the LOC, Irvin Khoza and chief executive Danny Jordaan and it is hoped they will counter all the negative publicity around the event ...

In preparation for 2010 World Cup in Mzansi, these new titles have been recommended by the chairman of the LOC, Irvin Khoza and chief executive Danny Jordaan and it is hoped they will counter all the negative publicity around the event ...

Murderer: Population Stabiliser

Orphan: Independent Youngster

Beggar: Financial Gatherer

Cleaner: Hygiene Specialist

Rapist: Senior Practitioner in Sexual Practices

Gardener: Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist

House Maid: Family Environs Upkeep Manager or Domestic Operations Specialist

Receptionist: Front Office Manager or Office Access Control Specialist

Messenger: Business Communications Conveyer

Window Cleaner: Transparent Wall Technician

Temporary Teacher: Associate Tutor

Tea Lady: Refreshment Overseer

Garbage Collector: Public Sanitation Technician

Watchman or Security Guard: Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer or

Wealth Redistribution Prevention Officer

Prostitute: Practical Sexual Relations Officer

Thief: Wealth Distribution Officer

Driver: Automobile Propulsion Specialist

Administration Manager: Employee without Portfolio

Cook: Food Preparation Officer

Do Not Forget:

Unemployed: Township Management

Gossip: Research Manager.

l On Saturday one of the soccer match analysts on SuperSport, Doctor Khumalo, came up with a Mdungwa special.

Responding on whether there are too many off-season "cups" that could be detrimental to our players, Khumalo, among other things in his explanation, suddenly came up with a word called "periodisation".

A search in both the much-used Oxford and Collins dictionaries for this word drew a blank.

Thatha Mdokis!

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