Misfortune of a strong lass

Mother, oh mother! Why did you make me so strong? Now guys never know where to draw the line when it comes to making me the man.

I always wear the pants and sometimes it's downright annoying. Guys are always putting me in control.

Others give me the fighting gloves and turn around and call me a brute. All because I'm my own man and pretty much depend on me.

It has recently occurred to me that from when I was 21, most of the guys I've dated have been passengers in my car and there's nothing more demeaning and emasculating.

Should they be crucified for having bolted then? I don't know because my learned friends say there's someone for everyone out there.

But when a man makes you choose his meals for him, something starts smelling. I'm not a man and I expect all men to live up to their role and not be coy, give me sheepish nods and agree with every silly thing I say.

There's something gayish about such conformity.

By nature, men should be stronger and not give in to accomplished women. No guy should expect me to return spoilt merchandise for them and then turn around and expect me to respect them.

Respect is earned and no one should repeat this to themselves more than men who call me a bully.

But ask one man from the past and he might disagree. He had it so bad his friends used to look on tongue-tied.

His woman came from a family of tycoons. Bear in mind that darkies call anyone who drives a top of the range machine, a tycoon. Never mind that he might be sleeping on a sponge mattress.

This woman had him by the balls, with his permission of course. If she woke up and felt like not taking a shower with him, he'd rather not shower at all.

Funny that onlookers knew it was the new money turning him into a girl.

Had she been a regular woman, words like love potion, korobela and moloi would have featured strongly in conversations about them.

Men should be stronger.

But most misunderstand this duty. They think being man enough is sleeping around, coming home in the small hours of the morning and having their own couches, cups and dishes.

They think any woman who is not prepared to cook a pot of rice and pap on the same stove for her family and her man, is insufferable.

I also know of a few that thrive on being male-kept madams. They are the ones with perfect moustaches, perfect teeth, perfect etiquette but with imperfect bank balances. They also want to be respected. What irony.

One may argue that an affluent African woman with ubuntu would not have a problem balancing the roles. But an African man with ubuntu would not test her last nerve by being a jerk who wants to be respected, or a myopic no-hoper who wants to make it big one day. He would just measure up to her by just being a real man.

I'm merely asking for mutual respect that's in sync with equal mental strength, and everyone has it in them to master both.

So in this light, maybe mom was not so wrong in teaching me to be the man and stand on my own. It was fathers who neglected teaching their sons to grow some balls that made things hard for some of us.

Clearly the male gender are getting confused and try to shine the spotlight on the likes of me to feel over-qualified.

Strong women are here to stay, so men had better choose between marrying their smalltime giggling madams or swim with the dolphins that we are.

Dating on different income/experience levels

Success is clearly intimidating. The idea that somebody of the fairer sex got things figured out better than men did seem to scare them off. What should really scare men is that their fear can keep them from some great experiences. But accomplished women need to make things better for their emerging men.

Every woman has it in her the ability to help her man grow from zero to hero. But she must be careful not to abuse it.