Break it gently

So your New Year's resolution includes breaking up with someone. Tread carefully how you go about it.

So your New Year's resolution includes breaking up with someone. Tread carefully how you go about it.

Breaking up is not an easy task, especially when it involves leaving someone you care about. Whether or not you've been in a relationship for one month or 20 years, there is no easy way to call it quits. Many of us have winged it, severing a relationship by simply falling off the face of the planet or even changing a phone number or two. Both options are bad. Being a gentleman about the situation is crucial, and being firm and definitive is a must during the transition.

Making a clean break with the least amount of resistance and resentment is the ultimate objective. So, for those guys who are ready to call it off, but struggle with the concept of approach, or if this is your first time breaking up, here are some helpful break- up laws to help you.

Don't delay the inevitable:

Whether you love her or not, let her go if you're unhappy. Do not delay. It won't do either of you any good.

Breaking the law:

To remain or fall back into a relationship that's going nowhere can be harmful because you're wasting precious time and energy that could be spent with someone more compatible.

Terminate the relationship in person:

Facial expressions add to the tone of your message, which will be helpful when your objective is to get your point across without having to go back and forth. Breaking up in person shows that you have respect for her feelings, which makes for good closure on her part.

Breaking the law:

Ending it over the phone or in an e-mail will make you appear insensitive or cowardly. Though it might not matter to you at the time, your respect level will decrease immensely and will be remembered should you find yourself running back to her.

Provide evidence of honesty and humility:

Whatever you do, don't say "It's not you, it's me" if you don't mean it. Be honest and communicate some of the reasons the relationship is no longer working for you. Don't point fingers or place blame. Admit to some of your shortcomings as well.

Breaking the law:

Don't make it appear as though you're perfect. This is a sure way to get her to resent you. Instead of closure, you will only evoke hatred and pain.

Don't insinuate potential for future partnership:

Nothing can be more insensitive than insinuating that there is a possible future for reconciliation if that isn't something you desire. Don't use words like "maybe" or "down the line".

Breaking the law:

If you don't follow this law, she will think you are simply going through a phase and that you'll soon come to your senses. She would fix the things you were dissatisfied with to keep you in the relationship.

Listen to her case:

Once you've made your case, it's only fair that you remain open to respond to questions she needs answered.

Breaking the law:

Being bull-headed and closed to hearing her side is extremely insensitive. Unless you are aiming to acquire a long list of enemies, listen to what she says.

Keep it civil:

Remain respectful. Nine out of 10 break-ups end painfully for at least one party and most times it isn't the person ending it. Always take the gentleman's way out. -