Bad taste that takes the cake

Amanda Ngudle

Amanda Ngudle

It is often said there are two components that make or break your wedding day: the bride and her dress. But black folks seem to have their eyes on the cake, for whatever reason.

At a recent wedding, one eager bride-to-be was comparing the decor, the dress and the cake's synergy, saying every smart bride knows the art of coordination is what sets every wedding apart.

But it doesn't take a pessimist to draw conclusions about the bride's personality based on her choice of wedding cake. Wedding planner Thembeka Ngutshana- Murray says the idea is not so shallow.

"Just as a dessert is every chef's signature offering, the cake speaks volumes about the budget, the bride's taste and, inevitably, her personality. And trust me, personality goes a long way for wedding spectators," she says.

There are some blunders that can change your image forever, says Ngutshana-Murray. If your wedding is captured in pictures, video and DVD footage, the cake you choose can haunt you or pep you up for life.

Here are some common cake designs and Ngutshana-Murray claims they reflect the bride's personality.

l Cake 1: The cake of the people. The bride is giving and not apologetic, very domesticated. She knows people prefer chocolate to fruit cake and has no intention of slicing it over the anniversaries. You can be sure this is a bride who has a mind of her own and exercises her right to choose.

l Cake 2: A diehard romantic and a perfectionist, think Bree of Desperate Housewives. The icing took the confectioners weeks to get right and how they balanced the red roses for each tier is something of a miracle. This bride is dogmatic and believes in the traditions and will never stray from the conventional methods. She is in it for keeps and will make a perfect wife, encouraging her husband and taking the title of the most dedicated wife in her home town.

l Cake 3: The extremely organised bride plans ahead, wants no mess and probably no children or pets. You get good brides and then you get the impeccable ones, like the chooser of this cake. Don't expect this bride to walk barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Her place is at the spa getting a wax, a manicure, a pedicure and a facial.

l Cake 4: For the poor and the desperate - need we say more?

l Cake 5: For the uncultured, eclectic bride who let her aunt make the cake for her. Less is more, but this bride knows no different. The complicated design of this cake reflects an inner disorder and the need to please reflects in the flowers, their bright colour and their number and dominance over the cake. This cake doesn't even look edible, let alone tasty, and that can only mean the bride has no taste.

l Cake 6: The bride lets her mom influence her choices. Mom is the word and what she says goes. Or could it be Princess Fiona and Shrek's wedding?

l Cake 7: Low-budget wedding for the young couple or teenagers. There will be no DJ, uncle Terror is organising a van to bring him and a sound system that last worked in 2002 and you will be billed for every drink you have.