Turn taxi fares into a ticket to ride all the way to market

I was red-carded with bronchitis and no one wanted to be anywhere near me because I was barking like a dog. My only companion was a TV borrowed from my nephew.

TV bores me but the advertisements are interesting. A few are crass, more are boring and a very few are excellent.

The volume rises when the TV goes to market, as they say. In my half stupor I would turn to look and it would be an advert.

I do not know whether it is because they are currently my bread and butter, but all the adverts with a taxi in them fascinated me.

There is a typical taxi commuter, a buxom lady, extolling a cellphone contract's free time. She is a screecher. I know her because that is how we get to know of special offers and izigodi in the taxis. I have passed on sales tips and knockdowns myself.

Then there is the germ advert. I forget which antiseptic it extols, but there are germs aplenty on the taxi's door handle. This ad makes me uneasy. I suspect that from now on passengers will baulk at taking the last seat, which is the one nearest the door.

Imagine opening that door, chock full of germs, six or seven times a trip. Perhaps the driver should give wet wipes to the poor receptionist, the door opener.

There was a time when taxis had their owner's name and telephone number printed on the front doors of the taxi. The advertisers were quick to spot this.

There was an ad that showed a young man falling in love at first sight. He used his cellphone to call the driver upfront who in turn called his colleague in the taxi travelling alongside them. This other fellow then handed the cellphone to the young man's fancy.

They exchanged telephone numbers and agreed to meet in town. This romantic story tickled all the passengers in the taxi.

In my taxi, Auntie Emma would have refused to pass on the cellphone.

She would have switched it off and returned it to the taxi driver with a pithy remark about respect for one's elders and cheeky modern children.

This would have made the rest of us laugh really hard. Alas, we are not advertising material.

There is a new TV ad where the taxi goes up into the heavens. It is something about Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs).

It is quite long and I was not able to work it out. Now that I am back to normal, I doubt I will see it again.

The taxi associations should maybe patent their industry. This way they would get royalties from all these advertisements. Then the astronomical fares could go down.

The associations should start thinking like Americans and learn to make a quick rand out of their unique industry.

Then everyone will laugh all the way to the bank.