Choosing someone whose culture fascinates you is good for your libido, writes Amanda Ngudle

Of course my choice of "hot" men has always been disputed.

I seem to drag home the kind of men that make my friends converge in the bathroom for a good debate. But I have often had a silent giggle with most of their picks. So what exactly makes a man hot? has voted Akon, he of the Minnie Mouse voice and whose exotic dance with a minor sent tongues wagging recently, man of the week. Who's standards were used?

"My definition of hot starts with exotic and traits of preference follow, but anything from Soweto makes me yawn," quips Tanzania Molapo, 24, a bank teller.

She's not shooting off her mouth without mother nature on her side.

Her taste has been endorsed by the Zulu saying, Induku enhle igawulwa ezizweni - the most beautiful fighting stick is found in foreign places.

Since time immemorial, men and women have found fervour in the arms of strangers. So Akon is the hottest thing in America because of his Africanness.

Some women seek a relationship that challenges Molapo's belief.

"I love searching for common ground, there is never a moment of boredom and you both find yourself in agreement. And it's not just women on a witch-hunt for foreign stallions,"

Men do it too. Thailand for one, is one of the most favourite destinations for virile South African men.

The Thai girls have melted so many local hearts some of their five nights stands have gone back to make honest women of those girls.

A practice that has exalted some of their male counterparts to operate as boy-ladies. The element of enigma comes to the fore again.

"I've heard that those Thai women can shag a man's brains out," says Jennifer Mbokazi, a flight attendant.

"And judging by my male's wandering eye whenever we are in Bangkok, I'll have to concede those women must know something we don't."

For some people, the oracle is not created by the distance that the man has travelled.

"Have you ever dated a white man or a younger man? The sex is out of this world and the chemistry can burn the sheets, but that's all because for decades such sexual encounters have been prohibited," says Mike Gumbi a relationship counsellor.

Gumbi said the attraction is not caused by the men's country of origin or myths about how his people have sex.

"It is because you are drawn to someone you know nothing about, which explains why opposites attract and dating on the same street is a cul-de-sac for a relationship," he said.

"The mind wants stimulation, it wants exploration and the heart wants the same. So stop aiming for Nigerians or whites, but for people whose culture you are fascinated with because such teasers are good for our libido."