Simply not quite the best

HThe Spy attended the Arts Alive media conference at Museum Africa Auditorium in Newtown on Wednesday. The media conference was attended by us, the press types, and some singing types, popular and not-so-known ones. It was your typical press conference. Boring.

HThe Spy attended the Arts Alive media conference at Museum Africa Auditorium in Newtown on Wednesday. The media conference was attended by us, the press types, and some singing types, popular and not-so-known ones. It was your typical press conference. Boring.

HThe not-so-sophisticated and E-listed Siphokazi Luzipho was there. She was her naive and innocent-looking self. Though she looked ravishingly hot in her Sungoddess number she is in desperate need of grooming. How The Spy wishes the Xhosa songbird would loosen up a bit, have a glass of wine, socialise and network! Does she have a boyfriend or something? Highly doubtful. She must get a man so that she does not have to drag her producer Sipho Sithole with her to a function.

HTalking about Sipho, his wife Velile was there. I thought the whole ring thing was over and done with but I guess I was wrong. Will it take the jaws of life to drag that outdated golden wedding ring of hers from her finger? For God's sake that thing doesn't look good on your classy hand. We know you can afford a better ring. Remove it, I pray.

HThe Spy also spotted Lesego, another E-lister. Celebrity status does not suit the man at all. He looked like a poor pastor in his clothes and was wearing cheap-looking sunglasses in a room that was not generously lit. A word of advice: find a frame that suits you and by the way they are sunglasses not lightbulb glasses. Who said wearing sunglasses everywhere is a sign of celebrity status?

HHis partner in crime was the Z-listed Mercy Pakela. Hers were bigger! Wait, did I say Mercy? The last time I heard about her was in the 80s. What was she doing there? Spying for the Golden Oldies? Next time switch off your damn phone when you are in the press conference. You disturb us serious ones you know.

HI saw Korlea, a white Afro-pop singer. She looked like a geisha girl in her blood-red beret, red shoes and a red bag that looked like a dog's tongue. Damn girl ,you nearly blinded me.

HPule Hlatshwayo must shave his beard ASAP or else next time I see him I will do it myself! Even Khaphela keeps his for his character, that is, he gets paid to keep it. I mean you would think this type would learn from lesser men. And besides, doesn't he know a beard smells like stale Autumn Harvest. I wonder how his girlfriend copes with that?

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