The marriage circus

Zenoyise Madikwa

Zenoyise Madikwa

As the 1990s melted into the new millennium, a new breed of oomakoti [bridegrooms] began to stalk the land.

Today's oomakoti have denigrated monogamy. Celebs, who are supposed to be role models, flit in and out of marriage as they please and it seems we have conceded that this is the way things will be.

Mathole Motshekga, of the Kara Heritage Institute, said the decline of family values among celebrities is reflected in society. He attributes this to a failure to transmit values from one generation to the next.

Motshekga said the decline in monogamy highlights the convergence of two trends: the decline of marriage as an institution and a regression in African values.

"There is a belief that we are living in a society in which things will take care of themselves.

"Nothing ... takes care of itself. Every institution must have rules of governance, and that is true of football clubs and families.

"In the same way that football clubs still keep to the rules of the 1950s, families must keep their family values and traditions," he said.

It seems that the brides of previous generations had successful marriages because they respected themselves and their husbands - and adhered to family values.

But the idea of family values appears to have become a joke.

Recently, we read about Motshabi Vilakazi's face-slapping fiasco. But what self-respecting wife has a fight with an alleged mistress?

This week, we shuddered at the news of the split of Khanyisile Mbau and her hubby, Mandla Mthembu.

But it is hard to muster much sympathy for Mbau. She turned her marriage into a circus. Instead of honouring her man by making their house a home, she made her home a place for gays and party animals.

Honourable brides stay at home, look after the kids and cook nice meals for their husbands, but Mbau dragged her husband from party to party without regard for the societal implications of her actions.

To the new oomakoti, marriage is a fairy tale with a glittering wedding.

But for what happens after the ceremony? We'll have to wait and see.