Adult home parties are becoming really big, sex guru Mills told Amanda Ngudle

The idea seemed devilish at first and gradually raised a high school curiosity in me.

The idea seemed devilish at first and gradually raised a high school curiosity in me.

You may have heard stories about private parties, but unlike a dreaded night of lesbians and sailor-mouthed women sashaying in kangas, waving scary sex toys in the air, the night turned out to be a revelation.

"It will be just us girls in the company of a professional sex guru who can answer all your embarrassing questions and offer practical tools," said my hostess.

"Oh, there's also a dancing pole for those oh so important moves."

I parked my car as far away from the rest of the fleet as I possibly could before putting on my dark Mafikizolo glasses and making an incognito dash inside the Melville apartment building.

Aromatic incense, burning oils and scented candles greeted me as I made shameful small talk with two unknown married women who had clearly been waiting all month for the night.

Hot on my heels was the guru. She dumped her heavy load in the middle of the wooden floor and jumped for the red wine that stood like a fountain on the far end of the lounge.

Ten minutes later, the number had risen from five to seven corporate and attractive ladies.

The subject was not about the "swines", the "losers" or the "good- for-nothing men" in our lives. Rather heart-to-heart sexual conversations, some revelations and some chokingly daring reports for a first-timer like me.

After voluntary report- backs about the state of affairs in bedrooms, the guru with invisible badges swiftly moved to her heap and effortlessly put up a mobile pole and encouraged her fanatics to dress appropriately for the crash course. Were they eager beavers?

"As you know, the adult home party business is growing.

"Its recent success is due to the increasing number of women pulling their weight in making sure the fires don't burn out in the bedroom," said the 50-something guru whose real name is Nancy Mills.

Mills dropped her dentist fiance after he came with a "f#%&ed up" prenuptial agreement draft. So she started this business and it has been a blessing, she says.

But merchandise costs a fortune and most women want to test drive the toys even though they know they can't.

"But with sex, you can't be stingy," she says.

So she breaks her own rules and will give away some novelty knowing that is free marketing for her business.

"The hottest items are the erotic fiction books because women are mentally stimulated first," says Mills

Next on the list are lotions, potions, creams, gels, erotic books, instructional videos, sensuous games, x-rated novelties and intimate bedroom toys and devices.

More importantly, Mills has taught my six friends how to experiment with their bodies, in the privacy of their homes of course, before dumping the load of sexual frustrations on their gladly suffering men's plates.

"Contrary to popular stereotypes, it is incumbent for every woman to shake things up in her nest before pointing the finger at her partner. Not with so many tools at our disposal, darling," Mills says.

The dressing up and the decoration of the house is made to create an ambience of relaxation and to connect overworked women with their inner goddesses.

Nkuli Ndebele, one of the women, says: "Since joining these ladies, I have been able to shake free the burdens of culture, the childhood hurdles and bags of issues I inherited from my other relationships.

"The one most important lesson I have learnt through all these sessions is, if female physiology is so mind-boggling to myself, how can men figure us out without our input?" Ndebele asks.