My boyfriend and I broke up just over a year ago. He left me for another woman and has been with her since our break-up.

My boyfriend and I broke up just over a year ago. He left me for another woman and has been with her since our break-up.

We lived together for three years. When he left he got his own place. He has never lived with the other woman.

I was so hurt and so angry when he ended the relationship that I refused to see or speak to him for months and months.

Two moths ago he called me and asked me to meet him for coffee. He apologised for the way he had treated me and said he still loved me. He also said that he loves the other woman and wanted to make a go of it with her. I respect that, but he keeps sending mixed signals by telling me he still loves me and finds me attractive. When I respond he backs off and reminds me that he has a girlfriend. I am so confused.

What should I do? I still love him and would take him back in a heartbeat if he was as determined as I am to make it work again.

Still In Love, Soweto

Sister, get your emotions under control and back away from this potentially hurtful situation.

Tell this man that you still love him and that you would be willing to give it another try, but only if he leaves the other woman. Tell him you will not play second fiddle and will not be with him if he wants to cheat on his current girlfriend. He either chooses you, or her. And he must stick with that decision.

The way he is playing it is very unfair to you and to the other woman. I'm prepared to bet that she doesn't know he has seen you, and she almost certainly doesn't know he is pulling your emotional strings.