I am 35 and my partner is 38. We have a seven-year-old son and he paid ilobola in 1999 before my son was born.

I am 35 and my partner is 38. We have a seven-year-old son and he paid ilobola in 1999 before my son was born.

Now we have problems in our relationship.

He doesn't trust me. He accuses me of having affairs.

In 2003 I found out he was having an affair. I confronted him and he asked for my forgiveness.

In May we decided to end it and agreed to remain in contact for our son's sake.

We called each other regularly and sent e-mails until he told me his girlfriend didn't like it.

What confuses me is that he now calls me in the middle of the night to ask me where I am.

I'm not sure if he is jealous or what. I used to love this man but I no longer feel anything for him.

Fed Up, Johannesburg

Sisi, what you should do is stop indulging his behaviour. If he is overstepping boundaries and invading your privacy it is because you allow him to.

The next time he calls in the middle of the night, cut off his call. If he keeps calling, switch your phone off.

When he next calls, tell him exactly how you feel - that you no longer have feelings for him an that you are tired of this silly behaviour.

This situation will continue for as long as you tolerate his behaviour.