Sister thinks she can do as she likes at home
My sister once chose her boyfriend over our family and decided to move in with him against our parents' wishes. But, now that the chickens have come home to roost and he dumped her, she wants to move back home and behaves as if nothing has happened. She even had the audacity to try to kick me out of her room. I find it hard to reconcile with her. Help?
I can imagine how everyone is still dealing with how they felt when she decided to move in with her boyfriend and those emotions have not been resolved to this day. It would benefit everyone to deal with these feelings so that she can be made aware of how other people feel. It seems she has a way of bullying her way through situations without taking into consideration how other people would feel and that has not changed.
The family has to be assertive in making her aware that they can't always dance to her tune. Unfortunately, over time, she has forfeited certain things and can't claim them back as if nothing has changed. Until she is made aware of this, she will continue to be as she is. Having said that, she should not be punished her whole lifetime for her bad decision, especially when she tries to work with the family.
You are very judgmental though. Your sister is allowed to make mistakes. Home is home and should be a sanctuary for her and her broken heart. Where else should she go to then? PS: And why are you also still staying at home with your parents? When are you moving out?
Tshenkeng is a clinical psychologist, e-mail her on tumi.tshenkeng@gmail .com
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