I suspect my girlfriend was sexually abused as a child as she is highly paranoid about our daughter interacting with all our male relatives.

She insists all interactions should be supervised by either me or her, which I find impractical. I tried to get her to open up but she refused to tell me what happened to her.

Boitumelo Replies:

It is very difficult to disclose such intimate violation, even though you are her husband.

Rather suggest that she sees a professional or someone she can trust. Take into consideration the nature of our society at present, which is characterised by violence and brutality towards women and children.

I have heard many mothers becoming extremely fearful for their children, boys or girls. It's a pity that as a parent you can't always protect your children.

It is better to suggest to her that you both look for ways to empower your children; teach them how to protect themselves from being easy targets.

MOM Replies:

If she was sexually abused but refuses to let you in on what happened to her, let her be.

Whenever she's ready and trusting, she will open up. Her request is not unreasonable.

How many hours does your daughter spend interacting with your male relatives? The world is corrupt and even uncles can no longer be trusted. Protect your girl. 

Tshenkeng is a clinical psychologist, e-mail her on tumi.tshenkeng@gmail .com

Mahlobo is a seduction expert, e-mail her on mandisamahlobo@gmail.com