My best friend has recently confessed to me that she loves my 20-year-old son and that they have been having an affair behind my back for a year and a half.

Now they feel they have to come out and get my blessing. She is 58, I’m 55 and do not see any future in this relationship. I cannot find it in me to give them my blessings. Am I unreasonable to be this upset as the revelation has now cost me our long-held friendship?

Boitumelo replies:

It must be heartbreaking to lose your long-time friend over this. I imagine that the thought of losing your son over this is worse. For the fact that she is your best friend and has kept such a secret from you, gives the impression that she knows it’s wrong and unacceptable to you. As his mother, you have the leverage of speaking to your son – share your concerns regarding their relationship. Perhaps your motherly advice and direction can help him see things differently and make him reconsider going forward with this relationship. Sometimes the excitement and pleasure of love or lust can cloud one’s logical reasoning and judgement.

MOM replies:

Your friend is lazy. Instead of going out boy-watching to find a man, she hunts for aman within your household. You deserve a better friend. A 58-year-old friend having sex with your 20-year-old son is hurtful and disgusting at best. You may not give them your blessings, however, they may continue to see each other anyway. Wait for the future when your son discovers young, hot and cellulite-free girls. Your friend will be humiliated. Be ready to help her pick up the pieces.

■ Tshenkeng is a clinical psychologist, e-mail her on: tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com

■ Mahlobo is a seduction expert, e-mail her on: mandisamahlobo@gmail.com