My best friend's girl came to my house very upset recently after yet another incident of him cheating on her. What started out as me comforting her turned into an intense love-making session for us.
I blame my friend, who encouraged her to seek my comfort every time she was upset. Right now I am torn between telling my friend the truth or avoiding his girlfriend altogether?
What should I do?
Boitumelo replies:
Sleeping with her is your own decision and no one pushed you to do so. You could have chosen to say no and walk away but you chose to give in to your emotions rather than exercise self-control.
Either your friend is naïve or he trusts you very much. This is what a lot of people don't understand, that temptation is everywhere and in different forms. If you don't have a life philosophy, position, moral stand or do's and dont's when it comes to relationships at work, with family or friends, you will fall for everything and anything.
A stand such as "my friend's wife/girlfriend are a no-go, I don't discuss money matters with my family when my wife is not there" etc can help keep trouble away.
Otherwise, you will keep fixing what you believe or think is a mistake when it's not. Secrets have a way of coming out in a bad way, rather fix it before it comes out messy.
MOM replies:
You are responsible for your actions. Think about the outcome you want. What do you aim to achieve by telling him?
If your conscience is bothering you, do tell him. It is sad to walk around carrying secrets.
Your friend may dump both of you.
Boitumelo Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her at tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com
Mandisa O. Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her at mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com
I slept with my best friend's girlfriend, and I blame him for this mess
My best friend's girl came to my house very upset recently after yet another incident of him cheating on her. What started out as me comforting her turned into an intense love-making session for us.
I blame my friend, who encouraged her to seek my comfort every time she was upset. Right now I am torn between telling my friend the truth or avoiding his girlfriend altogether?
What should I do?
Boitumelo replies:
Sleeping with her is your own decision and no one pushed you to do so. You could have chosen to say no and walk away but you chose to give in to your emotions rather than exercise self-control.
Either your friend is naïve or he trusts you very much. This is what a lot of people don't understand, that temptation is everywhere and in different forms. If you don't have a life philosophy, position, moral stand or do's and dont's when it comes to relationships at work, with family or friends, you will fall for everything and anything.
A stand such as "my friend's wife/girlfriend are a no-go, I don't discuss money matters with my family when my wife is not there" etc can help keep trouble away.
Otherwise, you will keep fixing what you believe or think is a mistake when it's not. Secrets have a way of coming out in a bad way, rather fix it before it comes out messy.
MOM replies:
You are responsible for your actions. Think about the outcome you want. What do you aim to achieve by telling him?
If your conscience is bothering you, do tell him. It is sad to walk around carrying secrets.
Your friend may dump both of you.
Boitumelo Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her at tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com
Mandisa O. Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her at mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com