My dormant partner is not giving me enough sex

I am sex-starved.

 My partner is extremely undersexed as he only has sex with me after I initiate it and he is more than happy for us to go for a week without sex, which on the contrary I cannot bear. If it was up to me we would have sex every day. I do love him but do not know how to get help for him to try and find out what is the problem with him.

MOM replies:

He does have sex with you after you initiate it, so keep initiating. Ensure that your sexual encounters are not routine and predictable. His problem may just be boredom, talk to him and find out.

Boitumelo replies:

Such issues require constant discussion and negotiation on a fair ground in every relationship. Sometimes couples tend to slide into their comfort zone without realising the impact of their actions on the relationship as a whole. It is important to conscientise each other of those expectations you have of each other and to pull your weight to meeting each other half way. Your partner has to be made aware that his low libido or low sex drive is straining you and the relationship and he has to do something about it.

Boitumelo Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her at

Mandisa O. Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her at