I slept with my boss and it is causing problems
I made a mistake last month when I slept with my boss during a business trip to Cape Town.
I realised the following day and decided to tell him that it was a huge mistake. He has since been harassing me with invitations for more hook-ups and I feel trapped that he may even try to blackmail me as he has become more unpleasant towards me for refusing his advances. How do I dig myself out of this hole with my dignity intact? Help.
You have been cornered. You have no upper hand whatsoever. To regain your dignity and peace of mind, get a new job. He is your boss and he feels entitled to your body now that you went and opened that door. Your reputation and your job are at stake anyway, so you may have to look elsewhere. The big lesson to learn is never mix business with pleasure.
Whatever the history, at the present moment you are saying no and you are clear that you are not interested anymore and that should be enough for any normal person to accept. Just because you slept with him once does not mean he is entitled to more. I think he believes he can play with your guilt and fear of embarrassment, but he has to know that his reputation is more at stake because he can be charged for sexual harassment, especially now that he is starting to make it unpleasant for you. It would be good to keep a record of his actions and to take it further and report the matter in the company or open a case against him.
Boitumelo Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her at email@example.com
Mandisa O. Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org