Why I am all for a cull of the married bachelor
My contempt for married bachelors is well known as I have written before about them, but I keep on getting requests from men asking me to expand more about this species.
For obvious reasons I wish married bachelors were an endangered lot, which would mean that the numbers were small, but sadly there are so many of them among us that one cannot rule out a campaign to cull them because they contribute nothing much to their family's wellbeing.
Instead, they are the reason many families are dysfunctional.
Married bachelors are married men who act single. They are in families but are present-absent fathers as they don't participate in the responsibilities expected from fathers and husbands.
They prefer to let their wives play the part of both mom and dad in their homes as they continue to live a lifestyle that is unencumbered by their duties.
They party till late and are generally absent when big milestones happen in their homes.
To those who are still pretending that they do not know what I am talking about, here is a check list of common behaviours by married bachelors.
You are a married bachelor if, as a father and husband, you:
l Do not participate in buying groceries, clothes or attend to the administration of paying your children's school fees, for books and trips for your children even though you know you did not hire a full- time butler, executive assistant and driver for your wife and kids.
Married bachelors are responsible for the growing phenomena of soccer moms, for example, as many of them do not take their children to extra-mural activities such as swimming, soccer and ballet classes. It is very rare to see them attending parent-teacher sessions or parent evenings during school musicals.
l Have a policy of ga ke seke (I don't answer to anyone). This is a famous saying when men have been caught out with the sun on their faces as they sneak back home from a night of partying with the boys.
It is generally acceptable that married couples have certain reasonable curfews for each other as they expect to share parenting duties but the ga ke seke brigade don't want to observe these simple rules.
l Do not attend family gatherings. This leads to them living separate lives, which defeats the purpose of marriage and the companionship that wives and husbands are supposed to provide to each other.
The married bachelor would plan a golf trip out of town with the boys - dressed up as an important work and networking event - rather than attend his family's functions.
They have devised some legitimate means of getting out of supporting their wives and often use the tired work excuse.
l Do not date their wives, but surprisingly have female friends that they may not have any romantic dalliances with but prefer their company at public events.
I have met a few married bachelors who have told me that their wives are not outgoing enough and that is why they prefer the company of their female friends.
Surely there is something that should bring a couple together for that special alone time away from the kids, relatives and other noise that may contaminate your relationship, even if it means going to church every Sunday.
Unfortunately, because these men have put a ring on it, in the eyes of the public married bachelors do not get a lot of flak simply because they financially provide for their families.