I want to terminate my pregnancy, but I'm scared

Relationship advice from experts.

QUESTION: I dumped my boyfriend of six months after discovering that he was cheating on me. After dumping him, I found out that I am pregnant. I want to terminate, but I'm scared.

MOM replies: Girlfriend, you need to love yourself more. Your pregnancy means you slept with a new man without protection. Termination is a personal decision. No one should make it for you.

Termination or the baby lives with you for the rest of your life. You may want to involve the father and give him a chance to participate.

BOITUMELO replies: It sounds like you've already made your decision, it's just that you're scared. It's anxiety provoking because it's not an easy thing to do.

It's normal to feel that way. I would be angry at myself for taking my life for granted. You've met this guy a few months ago and you're already in such a predicament that affects your whole life.

I am questioning your thinking and reasoning about your life. What about family planning, birth control and condoms that are free as these choices are under your control.

QUESTION: My girlfriend dumped me. I heard from her friend that she is now with a blesser. I want her back, what can I do?

MOM replies: My brother, please do yourself a favour and walk away from this. She has made her choice.

She obviously wants a relationship where money and material things are more important than love and companionship.

Even if you wanted to compete for her attention, would you be able to take on a blesser financially? When one door closes, another one opens.

BOITUMELO replies: Well, she is the one who dumped you and she has already moved on.

Have you ever thought that maybe she was not getting what she wanted from you?

It seems it will be a fruitless endeavour to try to pursue her. It's also pointless to discuss her choices. I am wondering why you want her back? Is it love or are you feeling emasculated by another guy?

Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail:tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com

Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail: mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com

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