So we found out that women do all kinds of faking in bed, well two can play that game.

Since ladies are able to fake moans, screams and orgasm and men can’t fake ‘getting there’ we thought we should share some of the things that women do that turn us men off but we just play along. Well sometimes.

10. Throwing gang signs and pouting in pictures

Men do not find people like Snoop Dogg and say, 50 Cent sexy. So why would you think that making signs that they do could turn them on?

Ladies, gang signs are not sexy, they actually make us consider running for our lives. It is just borderline crazy. So much that Askmen.com think it makes you ladies look like ducks.

9. Really rough handjobs

Guys really love handjobs. Do it right and he might just give you his car and house keys…even his bank card.

But this thing of going super rough with the handjob does not work. It is actually painful and leaves the penis quite itchy.

I mean that is flesh you are handling, not a goddamn metal. Feelings ladies, feelings, okay.

8. Playing with the nipples

Just like in life in general, some things will work on others and some will just not work. This is one of those.

It has been proven that fiddling with a woman’s nipples turns her on (well most women). But now the thing is, the fact a guy is doing it to you and you are loving it does not in any way mean that he will also love it.  For guys, playing with our nipples is neither sexy nor ticklish, it is irritating and painful. Please stop it.

7. Exaggerated moaning and screaming

We have learned that ladies sometimes fake their moans and screams during sex and although guys like it, it can get a bit too much.

A lady screaming a guy’s name during intercourse makes one feel very masculine, but overdo it and you just have a very bored guy who is worried if the neighbour’s kid will not be woken up by the screams.

If you don’t have to scream, don’t fake it because you will end up overdoing it and that is not sexy at all.

6. Playing dumb

Acting like you are dumb was sexy in like 194-get-out-of-here. I think they call it being ‘blonde’ or ‘bimbo’. One thing for sure is that is not sexy now.

The lady might be playing but unconsciously, it registers in the back of the guy’s head that ‘this is not a keeper’, ‘I can’t take her to serious meetings, she will embarrass me’, ‘my mom would kill me if I brought such dummy home’.

5. Playing hard to get

When a guy likes a lady in normal circumstances he will go and either try have a conversation with her or if she seems busy, he will ask for her number.

Now this is a test of some sort, a lady who gives out her number easily could be a turn off since this can be mistaken for being ‘easy’.

But play a bit of hard to get and that gives the guy that special urge to really want you. However ladies have this tendency of overdoing things. Hard to get should generally last for a couple of hours to a day at most, not a month.

Why would I inbox you on Facebook for a month trying to get your number when I could be doing fun things like taking my neighbours dog for a walk? Okay I will admit, that is boring but I would rather do that than keep pestering you for the whole month asking for your number.

4. ‘Laying there like a full chicken’

There is this saying ‘a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’, not really, give that man sex and you have won.

Sex means a lot to guys, I mean that’s why some even go to an extent of visiting Hillbrow and actually buying it. So basically it holds a strong place in our …. Well not hearts but you know what I mean.

A man is a hardworker and always wants to be the one doing the hard work and providing services but this does not apply to the bedroom.

A lady that just lays there like a grilled full chicken really takes away the fun in the intercourse. When it comes sex, men appreciate a lady who takes charge and once in a while initiates the position changes. Do that and you have found a path that leads straight to his heart.

3. Smoking

Although smog coming out of a chimney is attractive during winter, in summer it is a no go zone.

So if we take that train of thought and apply it to a smoking lady, it would mean that she will only be attractive for a short period.

A smoking lady is so far from being sexy, it is a turn off by miles. Why would I want to share a ciggie with the mother of my kids?

2. ‘Go deeper baby, deeper’

Sometimes when ladies are in the midst of orgasm or something related to that during sex they call out for their partner to drive harder and deeper. Ladies if you have desires of seeing your men commit suicide, then go ahead and continue with that nonsense.

What is he supposed to do if his junk cannot go any further?

1. 90-day rule

I never believed Satan existed until I came across such. The 90-day rule is pure proof that witchcraft exists. I mean not even a job application takes that long.

Although ladies think it makes them seem more grounded, it just makes us think that you are a liar. So mnike!