THIS week Madi partied with royalty after an exclusive invitation to Ndaba Mandela's birthday party, held in the leafy suburb of Paulshof in Sandton.

Madi was so impressed with Ndaba. He's so personable, totally the opposite of his big brother Mandla. Madi spotted a little weight gain though on Ndaba, wow - did Old Mutual pay out that much?

5FM's Poppy Ntshongwana was the host and DJ and she did a great job. People almost broke their stilettos gyrating all over the place.

Madi just doesn't get why Popps decided to wear a see-through bra instead of a bikini top. Love, if you know that you have dried-up prunes for boobs, please spare us. That outfit was foul; well, unless you were hoping prunes are Ndaba's favourite snack while he's chowing granddad's money?

Meanwhile, girls wearing next to nothing were flocking to Ndaba like flies to a carcass, and he loved every minute. Hey, if the name can get you laid, use it.

Madi also bumped into Tshepo Mogale, who was once on that drab Pure Monate Show and quickly voted off The Weakest Link? The shame!

Mogale looked so cute though, except he wore one of Madi's pet peeves - a bucket hat. They are the trend right now, but make one look like a taxi driver to Soweto. I'm sorry.

Also saw rapper Da LES, who made us lick his toes to get a picture of him. Gosh! Ego much? Trust me, I don't find you attractive hun. Da LES was so preoccupied with singer Kimmy K, and they were all over each other. Guys, get a room next time.

Trevor Noah rocked up in some T-shirt, and flat out refused to pose for pictures. What ego-boosting milkshake are you and Da LES slurping? Focus on brushing your funny bone, because Madi finds you as funny as seeing someone fall into a pit toilet.

Madi also dashed off to the Metro FM Awards Experience held at the World of Yamaha Theatre in Marlboro.

The place was like how Oscar's lawyers described our prisons - packed to the rafters.

Bumped into Brian Themba, who also serenaded us with a few songs. Madi loves this guy, he has world-class vocals. Now let's do something about that beer boep love.

Gasp. Luthando Shosha rocked up with some older guy as her date, and they couldn't keep their paws off each other. Mara Luthando! What happened to Sabelo Ncube? Luthando looked so cute, but Madi thinks you should get your date a mirror next time.

Madi thought a thug was about to make off with her Gucci bag, until she realised it was only Mandla "Spikiri" Mofokeng. Bathong, can we bath before events?

Trompies gave a great performance, but Madi was worried Jairus's bones would snap while dancing. The guy looks ready for an old-age home.

Let's call it quits, shall we?

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