I dread going home every day because I don't know what sort of mood she is in.

I READ your your column every week and it appears that only women write for advice.

It always seems to be men who create the problems in relationships.

I wonder if you have ever received a letter from a man who is suffering abuse from his wife.

I am sure many people will laugh when they read this and they might not even believe what I am writing.

My wife and I have been married for three years. We were very happy in the beginning, but over time, things have steadily become worse.

We would argue and she would become really nasty. She would call me names and disrespect my family.

She seemed to know exactly what to say to hurt me deeply. I would sometimes look at her while she was angry and I couldn't even recognise her as the woman that I loved.

Over time, I decided that it was best to ignore her when she got into one of these moods. That didn't work. In fact, it seemed to push her over the edge. She started hitting, biting, scratching and even spitting at me.

When she loses it like this, she looks like someone who had lost her mind.

Afterwards she is exhausted and she calms down. She then acts as if nothing happened.

The last time this happened I very nearly hit her back, but stopped myself because I am twice her size and obviously much stronger. I knew that if I hit her, I might not stop.

I am scared that one day this might happen, and goodness knows what the result will be.

In spite of this, I still love her and I just wish that things could be the same as when we met. She was such a beautiful, gentle person.

I dread going home every day because I don't know what sort of mood she is in.

It is almost like she is two people: one who is loving and kind and the other who is a monster. I have never told anyone about this. However, people have started to notice that I am not myself and they continually ask me if everything is alright.

I am seriously thinking of divorce because I am worried that something bad might happen one day when either one of us takes this too far.

I hope you don't think I am a weak person because I don't stand up to her.

I just need some advice on how to help her and if that is impossible, then how to leave her.Getting desperate, Pretoria

Dudu says:

I certainly don't think you are weak at all. In fact, I think you are very brave to have written to me and for seeking help in such a difficult situation.

This subject is very rarely discussed and you would be surprised at how many men suffer from domestic abuse.

You are certainly not alone. No one should ever lift their hand to their partner.

I honestly don't think that your relationship will be sorted out unless your wife goes for professional help.

When she is calm, you are going to have to tell her exactly how it makes you feel when she treats you in such an appalling and unacceptable way.

Suggest that she goes to a doctor for advice and referral to a specialist.

If she is not willing to seek help, then you have some serious decisions to make.