'He lied about his marriage, but I still care for him'

I MET a wonderful man through mutual friends a year ago. My friends warned me to stay away from him, that he is a player and causes heartbreak wherever he goes.

I am 22-years-old and he is 10 years older. He's very charming.

We went out a few times and he was so attentive to me.

He certainly never flirted with any other women in front of me. It was as if I were the only person in his life.

We saw each other three times and then I never heard from him again. Eventually, after a few weeks, I phoned him. He acted as if everything was normal and said he would see me over the weekend. Well, I never heard from him, so I phoned again.

He said he had been involved in a car accident and was waiting to get a new car, and that as soon as he had it he would see me.

A week later I met friends and they asked me about him. I told them about the car accident. They all laughed at me and said he was lying. They said that his car had been repossessed and that his wife had just given birth to a baby boy.

I was so embarrassed that I had been so stupid.

I made a decision never to contact him again and to get on with my life. Of course I was hurt and sad that I had been played for a fool. This all happened four months ago.

A few weeks ago I received a call from him, telling me how much he loved me and that he could not wait to see me. I asked him about his marriage and the birth of his child and he said his marriage was over and he was separated from his wife. He even said he was sure the baby was not his.

He begged me to see him to explain what was happening. He said I was the woman of his dreams and he wanted to marry me.

I am tempted to see him because I still have strong feelings for him and everyone deserves a second chance.

I am scared, though, in case I get hurt. What do you think? Scared but eager, Soweto


After the way he has treated you, I really don't think you should give him any more chances.

For a start, he is married and has a baby. He says his marriage is over and the baby is not his - well, I think he is lying! Do you really want to possibly break up his marriage?

This sounds like such a mess to me that I honestly don't think you should be a part of his reckless lifestyle. You have met this man, at most, three times - you don't know the first thing about him.

You are asking for trouble if you see him again. Please don't risk your future happiness or the possibility of being involved in breaking up a family.

He is still a married man and now he is talking about getting married again. Surely this must show you that he is nothing but a lying cheat.

If you do decide to see him then you deserve everything that will happen to you because, believe me, this will end up in tears.

You only get one chance at life, so try to avoid making such an obvious mistake.